How we walked round the world’s largest monolith

Today we finally got to grips with Uluru. We had been steadily getting closer over the last few days. Now we were totally up close and personal. The road from the Ayres Rock Resort to Uluru is a half hour drive. Along the way are some splendid views but you are not allowed to stop. I think every viewpoint for the great monolith is carefully planned. There are places to watch the sunrise, the sunset, to see the fields of lights and the drones and all the rest of it. Each of them carefully arranged to give a clear view of Uluru in the background. So possibly there is no stopping on the approach roads to avoid congestion or maybe it is to ensure that vehicles do not spoil the view from the official outlooks. If every picture you have seen of Uluru looks as if it was taken from the same place, they probably were.

The first and most obvious observation from getting close to Uluru is of it being a properly big old rock. There is not crack or a fault, a seam or an intrusion or anything to divide the great mass of solid sandstone. From a distance it looks homogenous and smooth. Closer up, a chiaroscuro pattern emerges. After a few thousands of years, the rock develops a dark patina. It blackens under the effects of a sun. But the surface is flaky. Water gets in under the porous surface and causes small slabs of rock to ablate revealing fresh, bright, unscorched rock. The process creates a pockmarked tessellation of light and dark patches that covers much of the surface of the rock. There are a few cracks but they are small. In places the wind and rain have conspired to carve small depressions and holes. During the wet season enormous amounts of water flow off the top of Uluru. This has created many shallow valleys and pools.

We were shown to a couple of these pools. They are of deep cultural significance and there are signs prohibiting photography. We also got shown some rock art and a place where youngsters were taught bushcraft. In the far north-west of Uluru is the place where, back in the day, you could climb to the top of the rock. Only about 30% of the rock protrudes above the ground. Even so, it rises to 348 m. The route is quite steep, some sections up to forty-five degrees. There were chains that you could hang on to. Even so, the route could be quite dangerous. At least 37 people have died on the climb. Some from falling, others from heart attack or the effects of heat and dehydration. Today all climbing is banned. This is on the request of the local Anangu people, the traditional owners of the land. The very last day of climbing was the 26th October 1991 when hundreds of people flocked to the rock before the cut-off time of 4pm. On the following day, the local hotel closed because they realised, correctly, that if the rock could not be climbed then many potential visitors, particularly from East Asia, would no longer be interested in visiting.   

After that, we were essentially left to our own devices. A group of about a dozen of us decided that we should try and walk all the way around the rock. This was fun and gave us a sense of completion. It is not a particularly long walk. Just over 10 km and we had done a chunk of it already. The sky was clear and blue. The sun was warm but not especially hot. Almost perfect conditions for an afternoon stroll. Quite a few other people were walking around the rock. There was not a lot more to see. Possibly the highlight was a boulder that looked like a labrador’s head when seen from a certain angle.

Back to the hotel for a quick shower and then the evening’s entertainment was another outside meal. This time we got to sit at proper tables. The food was served buffet style and was not too exciting unless you are a fan of kangaroo and crocodile meat. There was however a guy playing a digeridoo when we arrived. This was fascinating and sounded terrific. The didgeridoo is an ancient wind instrument developed by the Aboriginal peoples a thousand or more years ago. Traditional instruments are crafted from eucalyptus trees naturally hollowed out by termites and are often decorated with intricate, hand-painted Aboriginal art. The sound is created by buzzing the lips, similar to playing a tuba or trombone. The instrument acts as both a bass and a time-keeping rhythm. Circular breathing allows players to sustain this sound indefinitely. This is an almost impossible sounding technique where you inhale through your nose while simultaneously expelling air stored in your cheeks, creating an unbroken drone. Later, we were given a quick guide to the stars by an expert using a laser pointer that reminded me of a light sabre.

Understanding Kata Tjuta and a spectacular sunset

We are in the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park. Uluru is the monolith formerly known as Ayers Rock. Kata Tjuta is the other immense rock formation in the area. Both formations were created at about the same time, 600 m years ago and in a similar way. Uluru and Kata Tjuta are made of sediment originating in the Mount Currie Conglomerate and both have a chemical composition similar to granite. Uluru is composed of fine grade sediment that formed a single monolith while Kata Tjuta is built of mixed size deposits. After the sediments were laid down, they were compressed and uplifted while the surrounding land was eroded away. Kata Tjuta, also known as The Olgas, is comprised of several domes up to nearly 500 m height. Higher than Uluru. From a distance they look similar.

Day by day we are inching closer to Uluru. The tour company is teasing us. Today we walked up Walpa Gorge, a deep ravine between two of the peaks of Kata Tjuta. As usual, it was a bright sunny morning. We began by visiting a viewpoint where I spotted some Crested Pigeons. There were also some interesting flowers. One of these, a red one, had its flowers at the bottom of the plant. The reason given to me was that the leaves could shelter the flowers from the sun.

Central Australia has been extraordinarily wet this year. One station owner told us that it was a once in ten years event or rarer. The result of this is that, rather unusually, the desert is green and blooming. It barely looks like a desert, at least, not the sort I have seen before. We are out walking in the cool morning looking out on a predominantly green landscape dotted with many types of flowers. This, we are assured, is very unusual.

Getting closer to the raw rock of Kata Tjuṯa, its composite nature becomes much more apparent. Rocks of many assorted sizes have been packed together to form an aggregate. This is not desperately stable and it is easy to spot boulders that have simply fallen out of the cliffs. Uluru, by comparison, is made of a finer and more consistent deposit that has formed a more stable type of rock.

The walk up into Walpa Gorge was interesting. We could not get all the way to the cleft at the top. This was a small disappointment because I had hoped to see out the other side. Nonetheless, it felt like we had penetrated deep into the rock structure. We could get up close and personal with the strange sedimentary deposits.

In the evening we were treated to another of Bruce Monro’s creations. This is the artist who built a large installation out of empty wine bottles. This time it was fields of light. Fields and fields filled with small lights on sticks. Like illuminated tulips. Acres of them. It was quite a remarkable achievement. The evening began at a viewing platform with drinks and snacks. We had yet another view of Uluru as the sun sank down behind us. This time however, I felt the natural world had the last word. There was the most fantastic sunset with an amazing layer of clouds brilliantly lit in red and gold. After that, we did go and wander around the light fields. I amused myself by trying to take photographs without a tripod. The light fields were pleasant but, on balance, the sunset was spectacular.

Does a Witchetty grub really taste like fried eggs?

Getting up at 8 am felt like a luxurious lie-in after the day before. We had an unhurried breakfast before we were taken out to the Karrke Aboriginal Cultural Experience and Tours. This is an Indigenous owned and operated enterprise. Karrke is the Aranda name for the western Bowerbird.

We were introduced to siblings Peter and Natasha who showed us around various displays of bush tucker and bush medicines. I am not entirely sure of this, but I think the old lifestyle would centre around stopping at a place with water and killing some animals. This was the main stay of their nutrition. In between, the group would be moving and often not have the time or the opportunity for hunting. This is where bush tucker would come in. Roots, berries, fruits and other things collected on the go. A supplement to keep everyone going but not the whole diet.

We were shown a wide variety of fruits and berries which could be dried and carried easily. We were also shown how to get the Witchetty grubs out of roots. Natasha assured us that these tasted really nice, a little like fried egg. Diane was not so sure and none of our group was prepared to brave up and try one. A lot was explained to us about the fruits and berries. I was confident that if I photographed them, it would be possible to use Google later to find out the names and specific details. This works quite well for birds. For berries it is hopeless. I guess all dried berries look similar and the only thing I could be sure of from the Google search was that it was usually wrong. So, I present to you, a great pile of unnamed bush tucker.

We were also shown some different types of ochre. A natural clay earth pigment that is rich in iron oxide. The predominant colour in the rock and sand around here is red. Iron oxide in everything. The ochre came in a few different colours each of which could be ground down and used for decoration. Anything from body painting to dyeing cloth.

Finally came medicinal plants. There are not so many of these and mostly they are used by burning them. Pete demonstrated how to stand in front of the smoke. This did not seem so difficult so I had a go myself. The plant being burnt was supposed to relax and invigorate. Not sure if it helped or not but I did smell smoky for a while afterwards.

We had a bit of driving to get on with after this. A couple of hours brought us the Kings Creek Station. In Australia, the term ‘station’ is used to describe a farm or ranch. Kings Creek used to be a cattle station but these days it is more about tourism. You can camp there or rent a luxury tent. There are buggy rides, helicopter rides and horse rides. There is also a service station, restaurant and souvenir shop. We had a cup of tea looked at some souvenirs.

In 1872, the explorer Ernest Giles was pushing east from Alice Springs trying to get to Uluru and Kata Tjuta. He could see both these prominent, rounded features but was ultimately thwarted by Lake Amadeus. At 180 km long, this is the largest salt lake in Northern Territory. The predominantly dry conditions mean that the lake is usually dried out and presents a salty crust. Under this is soft mud and Giles discovered that the lakebed could not support the weight of his horses. We stopped by the roadside for a view over the lake which, although interesting, was not especially photogenic.

Over the last few days, we had been sidling up closer and closer to Uluru, the very large, very famous monolith that used to be called Ayres Rock. Late afternoon we arrived at the Sails in the Desert Hotel, part of the Ayers Rock Resort. We were getting closer than ever to Uluru. It was solidly visible a relatively short distance away.

In the evening we went to sit on the viewing platform of an open-air theatre atop a sand dune. Uluru formed the backdrop. In this lovely setting, just after sunset, we watched a presentation of a traditional Aboriginal story told using drones. 1024 drones with lights on and some big speakers hidden behind bushes. It was fun. We were asked not to take photographs. I sympathised and supported this. I think otherwise we would have watched the presentation through a small sea of smartphones. The story made no sense to me at all but I still enjoyed the show and found myself wondering about how to program and coordinate a drone display. We were given an excellent picnic hamper. It was a bit heavy on the falafel and salad but still went down well with the plentiful drinks.

Working hard on the King’s rim before an exciting flight

It was well before 5 am, it was dark and I was barely awake. Diane had already declared that she was having none of it so I tried not to wake her. I tip-toed out of the room as best I could in walking boots. It was a few hundred metres to the restaurant. The air was cool and crisp. The sun and moon were notable for their complete absence. Stars were twinkling and I was going for breakfast. What sort of nonsense is this.

We were up early to do the Kings Canyon rim walk. I have always enjoyed the freedom of the hills. I was quite looking forward to it. Here we were, deep in the outback, far from civilisation, in a vast open country, about to hike a trail that takes in some spectacular views around Kings Canyon. I was rather surprised by how many rules there were. Only do the walk clockwise. You must start before 9 am. Stay on the stairs and boardwalks. Do not swim in the waterhole. Do not fall off the cliffs. Honestly, there were signs stating that falling off the cliffs can hurt.

Breakfast and short drive later we were in the car park. So were quite a lot of other people. It might be the middle of nowhere, but there are only a few places to go. Still no sign of the sun. We followed the crowds and arrived at the bottom of a staircase. It was rough and made of rocks but easy walking. 100 m pull onto the ridge. Our guide, Andy, set off at quite a pace. I didn’t. Seriously, I know better. Early morning is heart attack time. Early morning with strenuous exercise; doubly so. Every winter, about 100 people in the US die while shovelling snow. This used to be a mystery but now we understand the dangers of early morning strenuous exercise. I pottered up without trying too hard. Alpine pace. We eventually all assembled at the top just as the sun finally put in an appearance. It was spectacular. Bright sunshine on the ridges and outcrops around us.

The next hour was pretty steady. An easy undulating path clearly marked with blue arrows. The sun warmed us although not too much. The views made it all completely worthwhile. The crowds had dissipated. Not so much dispersed in the open wilderness as spread out along the single allowed trail. We arrived at the head of the canyon. This is where stops being a magnificent, steeply walled valley and turns into a crack. Still quite an impressive gap which we descended into using some wooden stairs. We crossed over the river via a wooden bridge. This was fun but I could not help but think a narrow suspension bridge would have worked better. One of those that swings a lot and has a couple of sketchy wooden planks in the middle.

At this point, we could have ascended to the far side of the canyon. Instead, we followed a narrow walkway signposted to the Garden of Eden. A rocky path and a couple more wooden stairs. The Garden is a lovely pool tucked deep inside the cleft at the top of the canyon. The trapped water here can last a long time after the rains have stopped making it another sacred pool. There were birds and a mass of vegetation. The pool was like a mirror to the sky. Fantastic reflections if a little confusing because of their clarity.

We pressed on and climbed the ladders up to the far side. This gave us some terrific views across the canyon. Very strange looking rock. It is a sandstone. The sediment from an ancient lake or sea. But it is soft. Quite easy to break in your hands. It forms layered pillow-like structures where it is weathered by the rain and wind. One place on the canyon wall it is steep, almost vertical and quite smooth. Polished flat and then peppered with small indents.

Only about a third of our group had come on the rim walk. The rest, including Diane, had a more relaxed morning and a gentle walk along the bottom of the canyon. They greeted us with cheers when we arrived back at the car park just before midday. King’s Canyon Rim Walk – 6 km, 4 hours, grade 4.

Diane and I grabbed a bit of falafel and salad for lunch. Then came one of Diane’s favourite things to do – a helicopter flight.  The small heliport was conveniently close to the hotel. Four people at a time. Heaviest got to sit in the front next to the pilot. That was nice, I like sitting in the front.

It was a bit of a quickie. A fifteen-minute flight up and around the canyon. We could both see where we had walked in the morning. We could also clearly see the rock formations around the canyon. They looked even stranger from the air. Some sections looked a little like a riverbed albeit on a gigantic scale. The lowlands regularly flood during the rainy season in places this was quite clear. Patches looked just like a dried-up lake. Possibly that is exactly what they were. Fifteen minutes is not very long. Far too soon we were back on the ground. It was, however, an excellent flight.

The program stated, “As afternoon turns to evening, we’ll enjoy sunset drinks and canapes at Light-Towers, an immersive sound and light installation by the acclaimed artist Bruce Munro”. This started off well. Sunset, drinks, canapes. All very enjoyable. Then we ambled along a walkway to see the light installation. It was a series of towers. Each one made of empty wine bottles containing a small light. In the centre of the tower, ethereal music was quietly emanating from a small speaker. Sadly, my missing artistic gene asserted itself again and I was left with a profound sense of “why?”. I imagined the artist had woken up one morning after a particularly good session with friends, seen a great pile of empty wine bottles and thought “what can I do with these?”.

The full outback experience, a long, uncomfortable drive

Bags packed and we were ready to leave Alice Springs. Today we are going to head out into the real outback of the West MacDonnell Ranges and Kings Canyon Resort. Many miles to be covered today. Some of them on unpaved corrugated tracks.

First stop was Ellery Creek. A pleasant, short walk to another watering spot in a gap. The morning was cool and fresh. The creek was green and dappled with sunlight. Again, we were told tales of wallabies but saw none. There was, however, tea and cake.

Next stop was Ormiston Gorge. Here Diane and I went our separate ways. Not because we had fallen out but because there was a choice. I took the high road up many steps to a lookout. Diane went for the low road and a gentle stroll down to the river. It was nice to stretch my legs a little and the views were well worthwhile. I even got to spot Diane down in the bottom of the gorge. At the lookout was one of my favourite signs so far. It stated that you should not throw rocks at the people in the bottom of the gorge. No doubt this reminder has saved many lives.

Diane and I were back together again. We had lunch. Salad and falafel in the Ormiston Gorge car park. Then we got settled into the truck for some serious driving. Several hours of it. The road sections were a bit tedious although I enjoyed watching the scenery roll past. The corrugations reminded me of trips in Africa and elsewhere. Uncomfortable and noisy. Everyone was happy when we arrived at our hotel in the Kings Canyon Resort. In this case, resort meant a campsite, some motel style rooms, a filling station and a combined bar and restaurant. Beyond that – nothing. Scrub bushes, sand, distant hills.

Time for an early night. In the morning, I was going to have to get up spectacularly early to walk the rim of the Kings Canyon.

A sacred rock, two chasms, a thorny devil and how to bake bread

Breakfast in the Alice Springs Hotel was excellent. A good variety of food, proper cappuccino coffee and omelette with chillies. We all assembled at the truck turned into a coach and set off to explore the local area. First stop, only just up the road, was the memorial for Reverend John Flynn at the base of Mount Gillen. His claim to fame is being the founder of the Royal Flying Doctor Service. I guess that is a pretty good one. The 8-ton boulder was requested by his wife. A suitable rock could not be found locally in 1953 so one was fetched from the Devils Marbles (Karlu Karlu) area. Unfortunately, nobody asked permission from the traditional owners of the site, the Warumungu and Kaytetye people. They got upset because these boulders have extraordinary powers and their damage, or removal, can have life threatening consequences. At the same time the people local to Alice Springs, the Arrernte, were concerned about someone else’s sacred boulder on their land. There was much discussion, debate, concern, arguments and even an incident when the stone got painted. In 1998 things were finally sorted out. The original stone when back to where it came from, a suitable replacement was found with permission from the Arrernte. Everyone was happy now they had their rocks back in the right place.

The West MacDonnell mountain range stretches East-West for about 650 km with Alice Springs roughly in the centre. They are not especially high, 1,500 m, but they dominate the landscape and create a variety of interesting features. We began at Simpsons Gap. Black-footed rock wallaby purportedly live here – but we did not see any signs. A short stroll. Some steep rocks and the remains of a river. In the wet season there are rivers all over the place. Most of these stop completely in the dry season. No crocs here. We are too far inland. Many snakes, spiders and other Australian beasts that can kill you but we could at least relax about being crocwise.

Next up was Standley Chasm. Like the previous gap, this is also a place sacred to the Western Arrernte Aboriginal people. It is also a place where water can be found in the dry season. Out here, in the desert, water is massively important. To the nomadic Aboriginals, any sort of settlement, even tents, close to a water source was a threat. This principle was behind many of the early conflicts with European settlers. It took us an hour to walk up to the chasm and back. We were well ready for our lunch, falafel and salad, by the time we got back to the coach.

In the afternoon came the Alice Springs Desert Park. Another of these places that is a combination of a sanctuary, a zoo and a park. The site is orientated around local desert life with a strong focus on birds. We set off following a trail that led us past various enclosures. The first bird area had some cheeky Zebra Finches, a sulking Ringneck and a Triller.

It was hot and sunny. To avoid the worst of the heat we tended to scuttle between the enclosures and the shade of the viewing areas. In the next one we found more finches enjoying a bath. There were also some budgerigars. Long the favourite of Grandmothers around England, these bright birds fly around in the wild outback. These particular budgies were in a cage, albeit a little larger than the one found in the average Rotherham terraced house.

Next enclosure had a perentie monitor lizard in a small, separate section. We also found an oak-titmouse, a red-capped robin and some black-faced woodswallow. At last, we had reached the reptile house. We basked in the coolness as our eyes got used to the dim light. Then I spotted a thorny devil. Incredibly strange looking creatures. Makes me think of Doctor Who monsters from many decades ago. They are, however, very real, very fearsome and fortunately small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.

I spotted a gidgee skink hiding inside a hollow log. In the next tank was a lovely looking rainbow skink. Tiny but very pretty. Then we were back in the great outdoors again. We had to watch the time because there was going to be a bird show and we were assured we would not be allowed in if we were late. One more bird enclosure. This one had a magnificent red-tailed black cockatoo and some tiny bright blue birds. Took me ages to get a photograph of the splendid fairywren. I later found out that the brilliant colours were because it was in its breeding plumage.

The enclosure was quite large. I found several other birds and spent some more time photographing the cockatoos. I also spotted a delicate little brown bird with just a hint of blue on its tail. This turned out to also be a splendid fairywren that was either a female or a male in its non-breeding plumage.

We made it to the bird show on time. It was similar to the one we had seen in the Territory Park, Darwin but still fun to watch. One of the participants was a tiny willie wagtail. Very cheeky and completely unafraid of the larger birds and raptors. An owl was very impressive. It took food from the presenter’s hand and swooped low over the heads of the audience making everyone duck. A black-breasted buzzard turned up and proceeded to demonstrate how to use a stone to crack an emu egg. I was ready for it this time and manage to get a sequence of photographs showing the destruction of the egg.

In the evening we went to a barbeque. I usually try and avoid these disturbingly gruesome and smelly meat festivals however, this time, it was not an option. In the event, I quite enjoyed it. The evening began in an old quarry that has been repurposed. The sunset was terrific and with the encroaching shadow and rising moon, came a pleasant coolness. Our host, the owner of the quarry, regaled us with local stories while simultaneously making bread. This was interesting if nothing else. Turned out that he was quite the raconteur and, we discovered later, a skilled bread maker. As he talked, he mixed flour, water, brandy-soaked raisins, salt and other ingredients. The dough was then kneaded with one hand while he gesticulated with the other.

The main course food was centred around enormous steaks. I know, this is normal for a barbeque. Fortunately, there was also a big pile of baked potatoes that were hot and properly crisped up. Spuds, with some salad and falafel made for quite a reasonable meal. It was served far away from the cooking meat, so thankfully we did not have to tolerate the smell of burning flesh. Also, there was plenty of wine. After dinner came some music, singing and audience participation. Finally, the bread was served. It had been baked in a Dutch oven on an open fire. Now it was served up with a dollop of cream. Delicious.

First two days of an epic train journey

We were going on a train journey of 3,000 km from Darwin to Adelaide in South Australia. The Ghan is one of the world’s great passenger trains. Started in 1929 as a narrow gauge from Adelaide to Alice Springs it was finally extended, as a standard gauge track, to Darwin in 2004. For some odd reason, the track does not quite reach Darwin but stops about 10 km short. To join the train, we had to get up exceedingly early in the morning and assemble in a hotel lobby to board a coach.

The coach delivered us to the station where we checked in and were then served breakfast on the platform. Around 9am the train arrived. 28 cars pulled by two dark red locomotives. My first impression was that it could do with a bit of a wash. The cars were built in the 70s. They are glorious, if slightly dated, stainless steel carriages.  The two engines at the front were thunderously loud and caked in diesel soot. We took a small step back in time and were shown to our cabin.

The room was small but adequate. A bench seat turned into two bunks at night. There was a small toilet and shower. The type where you could, if you wanted, sit on the toilet while you were having a shower. The cabin was comfortable enough considering that we did not have to spend very much time in there. We sat there for an hour as the train set off and the countryside began to roll past us. A possibly familiar looking waterfall in Litchfield Park flashed past us and then we off into the unknown.

Lunch was served in the dining car. We had to wait ten minutes before we could be seated. It was cosy. I ended trying to eat with my elbows pinned to my chest. Small trees and endless grassland rolled past. I struggled to eat soup with motionless arms, using just wrist action and a spoon. We chatted with the other couple at the table. “Where are you from?”. “Where are you going?”. The usual stuff. I kept hoping to see a kangaroo. The main course was washed down with a glass of white wine. Even a bird would have been nice but all I spotted was a short, barbed wire fence.

Not long after lunch we arrived at the town of Katherine. Population 10,000. 300 km south of Darwin. Farming country. Many cattle and many mango trees. Mining used to be important but less so now. Tourism is significant. We were loaded onto a coach along with some thirty other people and taken to a cave.

Diane and I like caves. We have visited many. We chose a cave trip because it seemed fun and it would be cool. In the event, it was fun but far from cool. First, we were given a little history of the cave in a small visitor centre. Then we were warned of the bats, snakes and spiders that inhabit the cave. Then we were warned of narrow parts and questioned about claustrophobia. Finally, we got to walk the kilometre or so to the cave entrance.

The cave was quite easy. It was fitted with walkways, handrails and electric lighting. Inside was quite pretty with stalactites, stalagmites and various calcite flowstones. It was mucky. The cave floods during the wet season leaving mud on all the walls and discolouring all the formations.

A few minutes in, I spotted my first deadly spider. Turned out to be a cave cricket. Totally innocuous. Not sure if I was disappointed or relieved. However, there was something strange. The further we got into the cave, the hotter it was becoming. Usually, even in the tropics, caves are cooler inside. The explanation was a hot spring. There was volcanically heated water under the cave. It raised the temperature of the terminal sump to 38 °C or so. As we moved forward the air became warmer and more humid. By the time we finally turned around it was quite unpleasantly warm. On the way out we spotted the discarded skin of a snake. The carnivorous ghost bats and brown tree snakes remained hidden. Or possibly absent. Just before we finally left the visitor centre, I discovered another deadly Australian spider in the toilets. Later research revealed that the Golden Silk Orb-Weaver Spider is generally regarded as harmless to humans.

Back at the train, we settled in for the evening. Dinner was a pleasant affair. The table was no bigger but the food was good and the wine plentiful. While we were eating, someone converted our cabin from a bench seat to two bunks. It had been an early start and a long day so we turned in shortly after dinner. I took the top bunk. Rocked by the motion of the train and soothed by the clicking of wheels on tracks, I quickly fell asleep. Diane unfortunately was jolted by the irregular lurching of the carriage and disturbed by the clanking, rattling and thumping sounds of steel wheels on steel tracks.

In the morning, just after breakfast, we arrived at Alice Springs. I was relaxed and well rested. Diane less so. In fact she was tired, grumpy and had a headache. Here we left the train. Alice Springs was the end of phase one of the trip. From here we would travel, by truck, into the outback. A week later we would be back to rejoin the train. In the meantime, we were destined for the harsh bushland of central Australia. First, however, we had lunch in the community arts centre. Lettuce leaves and falafel. We were starting to look forward to it now. During lunch we were introduced to our tour guide, Andy, and to each other. 26 tourists sharing a truck with a coach conversion, for a week.

After lunch, everyone had and hour or so to wander the art gallery. I tried. I really did. But at my core I think I am lacking the genes needed to understand and appreciate art. I wandered around getting increasingly bored and eventually ended up photographing birds in the car park. Art gallery done, we had a short drive around to take in the Alice Springs area. This suited me much better and I got to take some more photographs. That was it for the day. We were taken to our hotel for the next two nights. Diane was greatly appreciative of the quiet, stationary bed.

How to be crocwise and worship the sun

In Darwin, we had a few days of sitting around getting all our stuff sorted. Then we went to see a crocodile farm. Then we were looking for something else to do so we signed up for a trip to Litchfield Park. This is a large national park to the south of Darwin. Along with a few other tourists, we were going to drive there in a minibus, visit a few locations and come back.

Our day began early. 6 am is possibly the coolest part of the day. Even so, shorts and a shirt are adequate clothing. Up here in the tropics the four seasons are simplified to just two; wet and dry. The dry season has just started so everyone thinks it is cool and pleasant. Except for me. I think it is still hot and sweaty. Possibly the wet season would kill me dead in just a few hours. This said, at 6 am, in my shorts, it was not too bad. The minibus was gloriously air conditioned. I dozed peacefully until, an hour later, we arrived at the termite mounds.

Magnetic termite mounds are so-called because they are long, thin and aligned to the cardinal points. This shape and orientation keeps the worst of the sun off them. The tiny termites stay cool and happy inside. They look a little strange, however. Like large flakes of rock stuck into the ground. Elsewhere, tucked into the trees, a different type of termite had been building the more familiar “cathedral” mound. Some of these were quite large. 3 m or more.

Next stop was an outlook where we could gaze across the park wilderness. In the wet season, much of this gets flooded and crocodiles roam through the stumpy trees. Now the rivers were receding taking the reptiles with them. Dry bits were quite safe, we were told, but some of the pools might be a bit “croccy”. A short stroll took us to a lovely pool with a thundering waterfall. Strictly no swimming here however on account of possibly crocs.

Next up was a swampy area. We were allowed to carefully wander around here while lunch was set up. I found a few birds and a monitor lizard. Lunch was nice. Falafel and salad. Later we discovered that this is the standard lunch for vegetarians. Fortunately, we both like falafel.

Another, even larger series of waterfalls kept us busy in the afternoon. A network of wooden staircases took us between several plunge pools. This area was much more jungle like and densely packed with trees. Still no swimming. Sometimes you can swim here but not until at least four weeks after the last croc is spotted or caught. For now, it was too early in the season.

Last stop of the day was a small series of pools where swimming was allowed. These were positioned above a significant waterfall. This topology meant that crocs could not get to the pools at any time of the year. Crocodiles can jump, we had seen them, but they cannot climb. Many people were here enjoying the cool water and relaxing without the worry of losing a limb. We dangled our feet in the cool stream for a while.

Back in Darwin, we rounded off the day with a visit to Mindle Beach. An evening market is here on Thursdays and Sundays. The stalls are mostly food. Everything from momos and smoothies to kangaroo steaks and local gin. As the sun began to set, we wandered out of the market and onto the beach. There were many people. A thousand or more. All sitting around with some food or a drink watching the sun set. Our local star did its thing admirably. Brilliant red and yellow skies to silhouette some passing boats and even a camel train. There was a collective hush as the last limb of the sun vanished and then applause. Sun worship is alive and well.

Next day we had to repack our bags ready for the long train ride.

Jumping crocodiles and the truth about handbags

We are in Darwin for a few days. We have hired an apartment where we can slow down for a while and get our lives organised. Here we can cook for ourselves and plan our own days. Darwin is in the north of Australia and close to the equator. It is always hot here. The dry season has just started. For the last six months it has been rainy and humid with many thunderstorms. Now it feels cooler and the skies are clear. That is what they tell me. I would agree that the skies are clear but it still feels thoroughly hot to me.

First off we went out to explore Darwin a little and discovered a trove of street art.

Darwin is crocodile central. During the wet season, the crocs can travel along the swollen rivers and across the flooded plains. They get everywhere. Once the dry season arrives, the tourist spots that are “croccy” need to be made safe. This mostly involves trapping. Sadly, most trapped animals end up in the handbag factory. One guide explained to us that a captured crocodile was once tagged so that it could be tracked. It was taken a long way away and released into the ocean. After a while of swimming around it appeared to get its bearings and then headed straight back to the tourist location where it had originally been caught.

A thousand or so people are killed by crocodiles each year around the world. The vast majority of these fatalities occur in rural and impoverished regions of Africa and Asia where people and crocs live in close proximity. Nile crocodiles account for the most injuries. These crocodiles are considered the most prolific predators of humans among wild animals. Saltwater crocodiles are responsible for dozens of fatal attacks every year, particularly in regions like Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. Australia is infamous for its massive apex predators however, fatal crocodile attacks are relatively rare. Records show an average of 1 to 2 fatalities a year nationally, with most incidents occurring not far from Darwin.

There are two principal types of crocodile; saltwater and freshwater. Salties and Freshies according to the local vernacular. Salties have a gland in their mouths which allows them to expel salt. They can live in salt or fresh water. The males are the biggest problem. They can grow to over 5 m long and be quite aggressive. Freshies and female salties rarely exceed 3 m. It may be that the males can grow even bigger. Some fifty years ago, the crocodiles had been hunted almost to the point of extinction. This is a common story. It surprises me how often I write how this or that species was almost wiped out. Anyhow, the government stepped in, made the crocs a protected species and now they are doing quite well. Like most endangered species, the trick is to leave them alone. This does mean however, that there are no really old crocodiles. Male salties continue to grow throughout their life. These days the most mature crocs are sixty years old and 5 m long. They can almost certainly live longer in which case they may well get to be bigger.

Protected or not, there is a big market for crocodile skins and meat. This has led to the establishment of crocodile farms. Initially this was to satisfy the demand for skins but, more recently, crocodile meat has become known as a fashionable and healthier (for the human, not the croc) alternative to pork. As with most animals, the Chinese will use it in their traditional medicine although they are not great eaters of croc meat.

Turns out that farming crocs is not completely straightforward so the business is often combined with tourism. An argument can be made that farming reduces the risk from poaching. It can also be combined with a program to support the wild population. Similarly, a better understanding of crocodiles through their captive handling may also benefit the wild population.

We went to visit a crocodile farm called Crocodylus Park. It does not advertise itself as a farm. Rather it is “Darwin’s premier wildlife park”. There are a lot of crocodiles along with dedicated breeding pens and other facilities. There is also a small shop which sells souvenirs and handbags.

When we first arrived, we were asked if we wanted to see the jumping crocs. This sounded too good to miss. We crossed the attendant’s palm with silver and proceeded to a small, flat-bottomed boat along with a few parents and many small children. Now, consider that this is a farm, so they must feed the crocs. Each mature snapper gets about a kilo of raw chicken each day. If you dangle that chicken on the end of a pole, the croc will learn to jump out of the water for it. People will pay to see this. Now, you are making money out of your crocs in two ways. Happy days. The reality was not so exciting as I had hoped. The boat had a metal cage around it. This kind of makes sense but when combined with all the small children it made taking worthwhile photographs almost impossible.

The rest of the park was quite interesting. There were many distinct types of crocodile in many different stages of development. Diane got to hold a small, rather disaffected youth of a croc with a taped-up mouth. Even the little ones are good for solid nip and this one looked up for some insults as well. We saw some injured crocs as well. One female was missing part of her lower jaw.

Mostly the park is crocodiles but there were a few other animals. Some were Australian and others simply there for novelty value. On the Aussy side there were some wallabies and dingoes. Representing the rest of the world we spotted a handful of African meercats. Extremely cute but also a bit lonely. A South American capybara, looking long way from its home. An ostrich. Remarkably large when you get eye to eye with one. A very strange looking monkey that I chose to call Colin. Colin the Cotton-Top Tamarin from Columbia.

We managed to wander around for three hours but then the heat was starting to get to us. There was a small crocodile museum that we enjoyed visiting because of the air conditioning. Then we were done and headed back to our small apartment and more air conditioning.

Culmination of a great voyage and a triumph for Only Fans

Turning our backs on the cannibals of New Guinea, we had two sea days before disembarkation in Darwin in Australia. Finally, we are close to the end of the voyage. Since leaving Valparaiso in Chile, we have covered thousands of miles. We have crossed the whole Pacific Ocean. We have visited some wonderful remote islands and encountered many interesting cultures and communities. We have spent many days at sea staring at an endless blue horizon and now it is just about over.

Time to get down to some serious boat building. There was a competition to build a boat. The vessels would be judged on the last sea day. Philip had constructed a basic hull from some water bottles. I added some superstructure and the propulsion system. Diane created a figure to skipper the ship. Susan made the signage. A proper team effort. We had won the daily trivia contest, a week earlier. Our prize was two electric fans. You can wave the fan in your face to keep cool. I mounted two of these on the boat so that they would push it along. A trial run in the bathtub, a bit of ballast and we were good to go.

We named the boat “Seabourn Only Fans”. A nod to the drive mechanism. On the day, when all the boat names were announced, there was a ripple of amusement. Others were puzzled as to what the joke was. The captain was chief judge and obviously a man of the world. He pointed out that if Seabourn actually named a ship “Only Fans” that it might cause some misunderstandings.

Our rivals were a mixed bunch. They included some very decorative entries and a rocket made of tin cans that must have taken weeks to build. In the crunch, our boat was the only one with propulsion. While the others floated or sank in the swimming pool, ours cheerfully steamed up and down. We won the competition.

Our prize was a small rucksack stuffed with Seabourn merchandise. Three soft toys, more fans, caps and so on. We had to leave most of it. Our lives are based on a 23 kg suitcase. One in, one out. If I had taken the very cute kangaroo with joey then I would have needed to take out two shirts and some socks.

Next morning, we arrived in Darwin. Usually, the ship will kick you off as soon as possible. This time however we had a day in Darwin. We were quite happy to have an extra night onboard and to go on the included tour. As usual, this involved getting up a little earlier than we really wanted and being bundled into a coach. We were taken out to the Territory Wildlife Park. Something between an park, an animal sanctuary and zoo.

Time was a bit limited. I think really, we could have spent an entire day there but we only had a couple of hours. First stop was the aquarium. This was quite well laid out and gloriously air conditioned. Obviously, there were a lot of fish tanks. There was also a tunnel where you could watch the fish from underneath. A few fish I could recognise from our snorkelling trips. I was quite pleased with that. There were a couple of crocodiles in a larger tank. The tank seemed small however for such enormous beasts. I looked the largest crocodile in the eye and thought it seemed bit bored. Not too surprising. Darwin is crocodile central. There are crocs everywhere. Some in parks but most just swimming around hoping for hapless tourists to wander into their grasp. In the centre of the city is an indoor crocodile display. You can pay to go into the “cage of death”. It is not a cage and you will not die, however, it is a plastic tube that allows you to swim next to the live crocodiles. Right next to crocodile tanks is a shop selling crocodile skin handbags and shoes.

Next up was the nocturnal animal display. Another air-conditioned building. This time it was dark inside. Initially I could barely see a thing. Over time a few tanks and cages came into view. We spotted some rodents, some snakes and some tree dwelling animals. Even after ten minutes, it was hard to spot anything. Photography was quite impossible. I tried but the best I could manage was a blurry picture of a mouse.

Rushing on, we came to an open-air place called the “flight deck” to watch a short show about birds. This turned out to be a small amphitheatre where we could all sit in the shade of a high roof. A young and very enthusiastic girl gave a presentation. Essentially, she fed various birds as they appeared and talked to us about them. The birds all knew their roles and were being let out by someone out of sight. It was quite an impressive show and gave me chance to get a few nice photographs.

A stork, some pretty lorikeets and an Australian Bustard were each marched out, fed and sent away. Then came a lovely barn owl which appeared to enjoy the attention flew right over people’s heads several times.  An emu appeared which gave the presenter a chance to introduce an emu egg. Possibly not a real one. It was explained to us that these eggs are very tough to crack open. Next came a Black-breasted Buzzard who proceeded to demonstrate how it uses a rock to crack open the egg.  Their beaks and talons are not strong enough so they have learned to throw a rock at the egg. One of the few cases of tool use amongst birds. Apparently, some birds have a favourite rock they use. Studies indicate this is an innate, hardwired behaviour. Not a learned skill passed down from parent to chick. They will even attempt to use rocks on egg-shaped objects like balls. This is probably what we witnessed. Finally, a Brahminy Kite swooped into view. It flew over us several times while catching pieces of food thrown into the air by the keeper.

A short walk brought us back to the entrance area. Here we spotted a Blue-tongued Skink and a keeper feeding a Fruit Bat from a bowl of fruit. Back on the bus we got taken to the world-famous Humpty Do Hotel. We could tell it is world famous because a sign on the wall proclaimed as much. The sign did not indicate just what the hotel was famous for.

Our last night on the Seabourn Pursuit was noticeably quiet. Many people had already left. Looking over the balcony I thought I spotted a small shark. It turned out to be a Diamond-scale Mullet. We are done with ships for a while. Time to hole up in Darwin and find our land legs.

Macquarie Island

Very remote and very interesting. Macquarie Island is a recent island. Formed less than 700,000 years ago. That is ludicrously young in geological terms. It is also very unusual because it is made of uplifted and exposed oceanic crust. Formed by the collision of two tectonic plates, the island was squeezed up from deep below the ocean like toothpaste from a tube. Geologists get extremely excited about this place. They can see rock structures here that are almost inaccessible anywhere else in the world. To me, it looked like some quite ordinary hills covered in grass. There is little that is obviously unusual to the untrained eye. I tried to spot some pillow lava but failed. This is rock formed by the rapid cooling of lava underwater. Spotting anything was quite difficult as we were carefully herded around and not even allowed to pick up a rock.

Macquarie Island is also the scene of the most incredible animal slaughters. Beginning with the sealers who “discovered” the island in 1810. They killed 120,000 fur seals in just the first 18 months. By 1820, at least a quarter of a million fur seals been taken rendering them virtually extinct. Attention then turned to elephant seals which were similarly slaughtered. By 1830 70% of the elephant seals were gone. Then it was the penguins turn. They were herded along planks and pushed into steam powered digestors. 2,000 penguins at a time producing half a litre of oil per penguin. In 1933, when nearly everything had already been killed and there was no longer a market for seal or penguin oil, the island was declared a wildlife sanctuary. Since then, seal numbers have mostly recovered and the penguins have come back.

However, this was far from the end of the slaughtering. Mice and rats had come ashore with the sealers. These were causing mass destruction with the sea birds. Cats, introduced to protect human food from the mice, were also helping themselves to the bird life. An estimated 60,000 birds per year. Rabbits, released to provide food in 1870, were running rife and destroying the local vegetation. The rabbits were reduced to about 10,000 in the early 1980s when myxomatosis was deliberately spread around. Over time they developed a resistance to the desease and by 2006 there were over 100,000 bunnies. Rats and mice feeding on young chicks, and rabbits nibbling on the grass layer, has led to soil erosion and cliff collapses, destroying seabird nests. Substantial portions of the Macquarie Island bluffs are eroding as a result. In September 2006 a large landslip at Lusitania Bay partially destroyed an important penguin breeding colony. This was attributed to a combination of heavy spring rains and severe erosion caused by rabbits.

In 2007 a program to eliminate the rats, mice and cats by poisoning was started. This cost over £12 m and involved helicopters spreading poisoned bait all over the island. It was mostly successful but unfortunately also killed large numbers of kelp gulls, giant petrels, black ducks and skuas. The program was abandoned early but followed up by hunters with dogs. By 2014 the result of the biological, chemical and ballistic warfare on the animals was declared a great success. The island was pest free. Populations of many bird species have increased and the plant life is recovering. Avian influenza, bird flu, is likely going to be the next big killer. It has not reached Macquarie Island yet but elsewhere in the sub-Antarctic regions it is becoming responsible for the deaths of large numbers of seabirds, penguins and seals.

We arrived at “Macca” early in the morning. On the isthmus right on the northern end is quite a large research base. Obviously, they wanted very little to do with a bunch of tourists. A couple of rangers came down to the shoreline to discuss the sea state with our crew. It was decided that there was too much swell for a safe landing. Meanwhile, I had been leaning over the side of the ship and was surprised at how many penguins were swimming round us. They were mostly King Penguins. Quite large birds with very striking colouring. It was almost like there was something about the ship that they found attractive.

We pressed on south to an area called Sandy Bay. Here there was less swell. The whole area was a bit more sheltered. There were some elephant seals on the shore along with many king penguins and a few royal penguins. These are smaller, yellow crested penguins endemic to the area. We had a small patch of beach to wander along and also some steps to a viewing platform. Despite the small area, we were carefully organised into groups and assigned to a guide. We spent about an hour mostly just standing around photographing the creatures. Penguins are very smelly. You don’t get this when watching a documentary. Once you are physically close to a rookery there is an extraordinarily strong and quite distinctive stench.

Along with the penguins, there were a few skuas and giant petrels on the beach. Birds, penguins, seals and tourists all squashed up next to each other. Our last stop was the viewing platform for the royal penguin rookery. I had never seen this type of penguin before. They only breed here, on Macquarie Island. A high-risk strategy. Macca is subject to frequent earthquakes. Occasionally these can be strong and may also give rise to tsunamis. Funny looking birds with bright yellow and rather dishevelled crests.

Back on the ship we moved further south to Lusitania Bay. There are many more royal penguins here but no good landing places. On the beach, a couple of the large digestors used for boiling penguins down, can be seen rusting away. We went out in the zodiacs to bounce around for a while. The wind was getting up and so was the sea. I left my main camera on the ship. This proved to be a good decision as within a few minutes we were getting soaked in the little RHIBs. A couple of orcas went past as we were heading back. The wind and spray was making visibility quite poor by then but we still managed to catch a glimpse of two black dorsal fins.

Macca done, the ship set sail due south.

Lone Pine

The world’s oldest and largest koala sanctuary is the Lone Pine Sanctuary just outside of Brisbane. Bruce, Anita, Diane and I went there for the day. They advertise 100 koalas and 75 native Australian species. In many ways this makes it a zoo as much as a sanctuary. I find zoos tricky. There is a role in conservation and animal study. There is also the issue of caged wild animals and people paying money to see them. This is exactly what we did. I hoped our entry fee went more towards animal welfare rather than profits.

In the cages, near the entrance, were birds. This wasn’t overly exciting but not far from there was a Tasmanian Devil. A carnivorous marsupial that used to be all over Australia but is now confined to the island of Tasmania. The devil’s large head and neck give it one the strongest bites for a predatory land mammal. It hunts prey and scavenges on carrion. Devils are endangered. They have suffered from hunting, poisoning and habitat loss. They are particularly vulnerable to being killed on roads and, recently, have been ravaged by devil facial tumour disease – a type of infectious cancer. Since 2013, Tasmanian devils are being sent to zoos around the world as part of the Australian government’s Save the Tasmanian Devil Program. The devil is an iconic symbol of Tasmania and many organisations, groups and products associated with the state use the animal in their logos. It is seen as an important attractor of tourists to Tasmania.

One bird that did attract my interest was a large wedge tailed eagle. A rather magnificent bird that was a permanent resident. Apparently its wings were damaged when it was young and it has been here ever since.

There were a lot of koalas. Several enclosures dotted around the place each holding up to ten koalas. They were sleeping in trees. The “trees” are generally made of dead wood. Each tree has a container for fresh branches of eucalyptus. Koala food for the few hours they are awake.

Running around all over the place were water dragons. Semi-aquatic lizards native to eastern Australia and commonly found near water. They grow up to 60 cm and, in the wild, are very shy. However, the dragons running around the zoo had clearly become habituated to humans and seemed quite unconcerned. I quite liked that they were sitting beside the animal cages and occasionally on top of them. Like they owned the place.

We watched the turtles for a while. They floated in the water and pulled faces at us. Then we walked up to an open area on top of a hill where visitors were encouraged to feed kangaroos. For a fee, you could buy some food and then attempt to get an emu or kangaroo to eat it. There were so many people trying to do this that I think the poor animals had eaten more than enough. They showed little interest in being fed and seemed more inclined to sleep. In places, there was the slightly odd scene of kangaroos lying on the ground, trying to get some sleep and mostly ignoring the people trying to coerce them with food while taking selfies. The emu was wide awake, ogling the circling feeders with a manic intensity. There was just the one of these big birds. Second in size only to African ostriches. It moved around on powerful, three toed legs, keeping its distance from the outstretched arms.

Moving on, we found some freshwater crocodiles. These were even less active. In several minutes of watching, I never even saw an eyelid flicker. Fast asleep.

The dingoes were awake and being fussed by a small group with a guide. The dingo is a feral dog, meaning it descended from domesticated ancestors. However, it was never very welln domesticated. Dingoes and indigenous Australians lived beside each other in a mutually beneficial way but without any high degree of dependency. In this sense, the role of a dingo is somewhere between a wolf and a domestic dog. The particular dingoes that we were looking at seemed to behave just like domestic dogs complete with belly rubs. They are occasionally adopted but in general do not make good pets because they still have a lot of wild instincts.

Moving on to another section we spotted an echidnas. Vaguely reminiscent of a porcupine but smaller. They are monotremes, a unique group of mammals that lay eggs instead of giving birth to live young. Young echidnas are called puggles and suckle in their mother’s pouch until they develop spines. This echidna was running up and down by the fence. Up and down rather manically, obsessively and without obvious purpose. We saw this sort of behaviour in several of the caged animals. The Tasmanian devil had been frantically chasing round a circuit jumping on and off a log. Later we saw a platypus swimming constantly in a small circle. Stereotypic behaviours are a key symptom of a psychological condition sometimes referred to as zoochosis. These are abnormal, repetitive, and functionless actions rarely, if ever, seen in wild animals. It is a form of psychosis that is a clear sign of a very unhappy animal.

A quenda is a subspecies of the southern brown bandicoot native to southwestern Australia. They look a like large rats and have been called pig-rats. In fact, they are marsupials. Male bandicoots have bifurcated penises and the females raise their young in pouches. They are mainly nocturnal and forage for underground fungi, insects, and roots by digging small holes.

Nearby was a pademelon. Another small marsupial belonging to the macropod family, which also includes kangaroos and wallabies. I thought it looked cuter than a wallaby and had lovely red fur.

The largest herbivorous burrowing mammal in the world, typically weighing around 32 kg and growing up to 1 metre in length, is the northern hairy-nosed wombat. It is also one of the rarest land mammals in the world. Critically endangered with a population of just a few hundred. Once considered extinct, a handful were discovered in the Epping Forest National Park in the 1930s.

Right next to this was another rare animal, the unlikely sounding tree-kangaroo. I have no idea whether they can actually hop along branches. More likely they climb in safe and considered fashion. Originating in the northern forests they are solitary animals. This one was thoroughly engrossed in eating leaves.

As we were heading back to the carpark, we came across the feeding of the rainbow lorikeets. A great flock of them was flying in circles focused on a group of tourists armed with bowls of lorikeet food on sticks. This was obviously a daily occurrence; the birds knew where and when to come. The very brightly coloured parrots made an impressive sight and a nice way to end our day at the Lone Pine Sanctuary.

As ever, the zoo left me with mixed feelings. It was great to see some rare animals that I almost certainly would not see otherwise. It was also nice to see animals being saved in various ways. Less nice were the animals that clearly do not like being caged. There is also the general issue of animals being commoditised, turned into objects that can be viewed and poked at for a price.

The following day we were saying goodbye to Bruce and Anita and flying to New Zealand.

Brisbane

It was evening when we emerged at Brisbane airport. The air was warm but noticeably less humid than Cairns. Felt fresher and easier to breath. We hopped on the shuttle bus to the appropriately named Bargain Car Rentals. Here we collected a well-used bargain Kia Sportage and headed up the road to find the wonderful Bruce and Anita. We met these two on an Hx cruise over a year ago when we all got on very well. We were planning on travelling together later in the year and somehow this ended up with us inviting ourselves for Christmas. I hoped this was going to work out. Christmas can be a difficult time when travelling. Many places shut down for a few days so it is easy to get a bit stranded. Also, in some countries, the days just before and just after xmas are manic with everyone trying to get somewhere else. Flight, train and other tickets rocket up in price. Stations, airports and ferry terminals are packed. I needn’t have worried. Bruce and Anita welcomed us warmly and before long we were sat around the kitchen table chatting like old friends.

Next day, we went for a walk in the forest behind their house. Out on the edge of Brisbane suburbia, their large single story house backs onto an enormous, wooded nature reserve. This gave me a chance to photograph some Australian fauna. Tectonically, Australia has been isolated from the rest of the world for a long time. Over 30 million years. This means that many species of flora and fauna have evolved quite separately and independently of what was happening elsewhere. 80% of animal species are endemic to Australia. These include marsupials, egg laying mammals, flightless birds and many poisonous snakes and spiders. First thing we saw was wallabies. Smaller versions of kangaroos, they are quite common in this area. Not very shy. It is possible to get close to them. Before long we had seen over a dozen. Mostly just sitting, looking at us.

We also saw a Kookaburra. Technically a type of kingfisher, although it is quite large. You will have heard the song of a Kookaburra. The distinctive laughing kookaburra’s call resembles human laughter. It is widely used in films, television shows and video games. Often this is regardless of the production being in African, Asian, or South American jungles. I was reminded of a song about a kookaburra sitting in an old gum tree that we used sing around campfires.

We walked up to the koala sanctuary. Unfortunately, it was closed. We could see the animals through the wire cages. Come back another day.  On the way back we saw a magpie and a good-sized lizard.

Christmas day we went with Bruce and Anita to their daughter’s house. Here was a great gathering of the Fursey clan. Daughters, sons, granddaughters, grandsons, other friends and many relatives. Anita’s sister, Boo, gave us some presents and card which was genuinely nice. It was a bit odd being in the middle of someone else’s Christmas celebrations but we enjoyed the experience and managed to eat too much. A highlight of the day was being introduced to Stanley the spiny leaf insect.

Back at the koala sanctuary, next morning, we finally got face to face with the bears. They are not bears. A big sign announces this as you walk in. They are koalas. No connection to bears at all.

Koalas have two thumbs to help them hang about in the eucalyptus trees. Eucalyptus leaves are all that they eat. Since these are poisonous to most other animals, the koala has a secure ecological niche where it can reign unchallenged. The downside is that eucalyptus leaves are low in food value, so the koalas have little energy and typically sleep for 20 hours a day. Later, we visited a look-out with a café and a view over Brisbane.

In the evening, we went hunting possum. Bruce sees many of these in the trees after nightfall. Their eyes glow in torchlight, making them easy to spot. We didn’t see any. The possums discovered we were coming and hid. So, it seemed. We saw a few more wallabies. They are not good with the light. They tend to freeze. Motionless they can easily get run over by a car or be shot by a hunter. Cane toads were everywhere. Also known as giant neotropical toads, these were introduced to Australia from South America. The plan was to control the cane beetle that was damaging sugar cane plantations. It was a bad plan. The cane fields provided insufficient shelter for the toads during the day. Worse, the beetles live at the tops of sugar cane—and cane toads are not good climbers. Now, cane toads are everywhere and a bit of a pest. Their tadpoles are poisonous to most animals. The skin of the adult toad is toxic. Parotoid glands behind the eyes secrete bufotoxin when the toad is threatened. This contains a class A psychedelic along with a cocktail of other, more deadly, substances. Licking is not recommended. Finally, we saw spiders. Great big ones. There was a lone huntsman spider. Also, several orb-weavers busy constructing magnificent webs right across the footpath. By morning they would be ready to ensnare unwary walkers.

Cairns

Le Soleal docked at Cairns around 7am. We had breakfast before disembarking. Breakfast was fairly good. Not masala omelette good, but it covered the basics and the orange juice was fresh. Tim and Loraine met us off the ship. Loraine is Diane’s cousin. We had all met 20 years before in Rotherham. It was lovely to see them again. They live a few minutes from the harbour and had invited us to stay for a few days.

Cairns is hot and humid. Surrounded by rainforest. Parrots and cockatoos fly around the city and the immense fruit bats swarm in the evening. Even at night the temperature is unrelenting. Tim and Lorraine live in a lovely flat near the centre of the city. They have a massive balcony with a terrific view. They also have a comfortable guest room with wonderful air conditioning. We spent most of the day chatting and catching up. In the evening, we went out for an Italian. It was my birthday. Lorraine presented me with a birthday card. This was not just the only physical card I got on this birthday but also the first one I had received for several years. Thank you Tim and Lorraine.  

Next day, Diane and I went out for a walk along the sea front. Cairns is a bit of a tourist town. The esplanade is a wooden walkway on the sea edge. From the northern end of the city it runs south for about 3km. The far end is parkland and playgrounds. Further towards the city you pass numerous open-air restaurants, bars and shop. We stopped at cheerful coffee shop with a guitarist serenading customer. It was a pleasant way to spend a little time. Before long the heat was starting to get to us and we beat a retreat to the air conditioned flat.

On our last day there we all went for a drive to the south. Babinda Boulders is a natural swimming area surrounded by boulders in the dense rainforest. Several families were there complete with towels, sun cream and picnics. We took a stroll along the path leading downstream and into a steep gorge. Here the gentle river turns into a powerful torrent winding its way through deeply carved rocks. Many signs warn against trying to swim here. It is, apparently, usually fatal. We carefully avoided certain death by staying on the path. Here we could enjoy the dense, rich rain forest. A few birds were flying around. I completely failed to photograph any of these. Instead, we headed back to the town of Babinda. There, in the bakery, I had an excellent capuchino with a fresh, hot and very tasty mushroom and spinach slice.

Next stop was the sugar terminal. Sugar is the main crop in this area. We had driven through many hectares of it. At harvest time, which we had just missed, the cane is cropped by machine. In India, it was all done by hand. The whole family comes out and works long, hard hours. Here a specialised machine, similar to a combine harvester, cuts the stalks at the base, strips leaves, chops the cane into billets and loads them for transport. It ejects the waste back as fertilizer. This is all a drastic improvement of efficiency over manual methods. A narrow-gauge railway system, called the “cane train” moves the billets down to the processing plant. Each small locomotive pulls a long train of open box cars holding sugar cane. Eventually, the sugar, ready for export, arrives at the sugar terminal; a deep-water dock where large ships can be bulk loaded.

Not far from here is Etty Bay Beach. A lovely stretch of sand with a safe swimming area. Large floats support heavy chain netting which reaches right down to the seafloor. At this time of year this is mostly to keep stinging jelly fish away. A lifeguard sat at a desk under a gazebo keeps a watchful eye on things. We had a potter along the beach. Tim, Lorraine and Diane risked paddling in the shallows. As we got back to the car we spotted a cassowary. A flightless bird similar to an emu but smaller. Cassowaries are very wary of humans, but if provoked, they are capable of inflicting serious, even fatal, injuries. They are known to attack both dogs and people. The cassowary has often been labelled “the world’s most dangerous bird” although the statistics do not bear this out. This cassowary was busy raiding some sandwiches that had been left on a table. I grabbed a photograph while it was distracted.

That was it for Cairns. Lovely place and we were well looked after but way too hot and humid for me. Tim and Lorraine took us to the airport in the morning. We said our goodbyes and promised to not leave it another 20 years before we met again. A couple of hours later we were flying south to Brisbane.

Cape York

We arrived back at Thursday Island at about lunchtime. We were in Australia but not officially. First came passport control. The border control people came onboard and everyone took turns going to visit them. A woman in uniform squinted at me, squinted at my passport, nodded her head and I was done. Officially in Australia.

This all took time so it was not until after 3 pm that we could get off the ship. Getting off the ship was all but pointless but we did it anyhow. A short zodiac ride to the pier. A walk along the seafront. There was not much to see and nowhere to go. The highlight of the day was Diane sitting on a statue of a turtle.

In the evening, we sailed to Cape York. This is the most northerly tip of mainland Australia. Apparently, there is a sign to mark the fact. It was only a few hours to get there. We passed one of the other Ponant ships heading in the other direction. We were going to need to be up before 6 am yet again. Diane and I had just settled down for an early night when they dropped anchor. Our cabin is close to sea level at the front of the boat. It sounds and feels, like the anchor drops past our porthole and that the chain locker is under our bed. Bit of a jolt when you are just dropping off to sleep.

At 6 am it was still dark and raining. The sea looked to be running quite high as well. I got up anyhow. Diane had not slept well and was feeling particularly unimpressed. We had breakfast. The landing was delayed. Then it was on again. I joined a shore party in a zodiac. The rain had abated and the swell seemed far less in the cold, hard light of day. It was only a short walk from the landing site to northern point. Quite a few people had already arrived there and were queuing to be photographed with the sign. I managed to grab a photograph between people. Just then Diane bobbed past on a zodiac. She had opted out of the landing and went for a fly-by in a boat instead.

Heading back to the landing site I could see that it was no longer the landing site. They had decided it was too rocky there on a rising tide. Instead, we needed to walk over the top of the hill to a beach. Apparently, there is a saltwater crocodile called Gary that hangs out on this beach. Fortunately, there was no sign of him this morning. Pleasant view from the top of the hill. In the afternoon, we set sail for Lizard Island.

Penultimate night on the ship was gala night. There was a parade of all the officers and crew. Champagne was served and there were dancing girls. Eventually it stopped and we went for dinner. I am missing the Indian food. Ship food, as usual, is bland. Le Soleal is a French ship with a French chef. The bread was terrific and the wine was rather good as well. There was a strong emphasis on fancy fish and meat dishes. This did not impress us at all. Vegetables were mostly boiled and very boring. Surprisingly, to me, the cheese was a very mediocre selection. The omelettes were terrible. I am not sure how they did it but a cheese and onion omelette turned out tasteless and oily. I was really missing my spicy masala omelettes.

We had a morning at Lizard Island. I declined the optional walk. Seemed far too hot to me. Snorkelling was a much better idea. We had a very pleasant hour. Diane saw a big sea snake. These are very poisonous but not particularly dangerous. If you leave them alone, they will leave you alone. We both saw some giant clams and many, many different fishes. With that, we were basically done. Back on the ship we handed back our snorkelling gear and then went back to our cabin to pack our bags. We had time to pop up to the bridge. I was pleased to see that they were using the Admiralty Total Tide software for their tidal height predictions. Andy and I wrote this a long time ago. It is nice to know that it is still useful. The evening was quiet and uneventful.

Next morning the ship docked early in Cairnes. We had breakfast and disembarked into Australia. Biosecurity is an important thing here. We were given a lot of information explaining how to avoid bringing in any plant or animal products that could cause problems. We had to fill in a landing card where we declared if we had been on a farm and all sorts of other things. We were briefed on the possibility of bag inspections, shoe cleaning and much questioning. In the event it was a complete anticlimax. The border offices took our declarations, said “welcome to Australia” and that was it.

Triton Bay

As the dull morning dawned, we were already at anchor just off from Kitikiti waterfall in West Papua. This is a substantial and picturesque waterfall that drops directly into the ocean. Nearby is a small island known as a haven for fruit bats. The plan for the day was a zodiac ride to see the bats followed by a swim and a snorkel near the waterfall.  Unfortunately, the weather was against us. For a start, it was throwing it down with rain. Round here rain is rarely anything trivial. It was gushing down and bouncing off the railings. Worse however, was the sea state. A big swell had rolled in. The skipper felt that RHIB operations were not appropriate and so we were stuck on the ship.

While we bobbed around for the morning, I tried taking a few photos. The islands were looking moody with clouds hanging off them. I think I pretty much completely failed to capture this. Instead, I kept getting my camera steamed up. Outside was hot and very humid. This is not good for cameras. The rest of the day was a slow, steady run down the coast of West Papua to Triton Bay.

The morning in Triton Bay came in clear and sunny. The sea had settled down. We were good to go. This is a karst landscape. That is, it is made of limestone. The sedimentary rock was formed long ago on the bottom of a seabed. Then it got uplifted and got weathered by rain and wind. Limestone is vulnerable to the mild acid that forms in rainwater when it works it way through the soil layer. This is what creates caves. In places the caves collapsed and joined the network of great, water worn gorges. Now this landscape is partially submerged again and the limestone pillars are being rapidly eroded at their base.

We explored the bay and some of its tributaries in a zodiac. This was great fun. I just had to sit there with my camera and try to point it at anything interesting. We were out early in the morning and there were a few birds around. We also spotted a couple of orchids.

Our guides also pointed out an ant plant and some pitcher plants. An ant plant is interesting because it grows an ant nest and invites ants to live in it symbiotically. Pitcher plants are carnivorous. They trap flies and small insects. However, when I looked carefully at my photographs, I decided that I could not see either of these things. There were some interesting rock formations but nothing like Phang Nga Bay (Thailand). I enjoyed the trip but felt it had been oversold to us a little. Similarly, the talk of pristine wilderness seemed a bit over-egged. If you looked closely, there were huts, walkways and other constructions all over the place.

The afternoon was snorkelling. Brilliant conditions and really interesting. No photographs again. I do not have a waterproof camera. Maybe I should get one.

Next day was a sea day. We were sailing to the Asmat region of West Papua. This was billed as one of the most remote and mysterious regions of the world. Even today, there are at least 44 tribes that have never had contact with the outside world. In the realm of head-hunters and cannibals we would be met by a multitude of Asmat warrior canoes. We never got there. During the day it was announced that there was a sick passenger on board who would need to be taken to an Australian hospital. This was genuinely a matter of life and death. There was no real option other than to set a course south.

We sailed all the next day and as the third sea day dawned the Le Soleal was met by a fast transport boat from the Australian coastguard. Our patient was passed over so that he could be taken to Thursday Island from where he would be flown to Cairnes. I hope this all worked and that the unfortunate passenger made a good recovery.

Now we had another problem. We had left Indonesia without the proper border clearance. Emergency over, we turned back north and steamed back into Indonesian waters. The immigration officials met us in the evening offshore from Merauke. Formalities took a few hours and then we were steaming south again. Finally, we were back on track to pick up the planned voyage at the Torres Strait.