Dubai is what happens when you get too much money in one place. It is quite a remarkable city. I find it both intriguing and repulsive in equal parts. When I first visited Dubai, in 1984, there was a dual carriage way with sand in the central reservation. Inexperienced drivers would regularly get their vehicle stuck while trying to do a short cut. There was also a single high-rise building. This was popular with the ex-pat community because it was one of the very few places you could buy a beer. Just forty years later and the place bristles with modern, glass clad skyscrapers, luxury homes, swimming pools and expensive yachts. The Burj Khalifa, tallest building in the world, rises above them all. This is all driven by money. Not just oil money. Dubai was doing quite well as a trading centre before 1966. Apart from the money, there is no reason to be here. It is not a nice place. It is hard desert with no natural resources and temperatures over 40°C for half the year. There is no fresh water. You cannot grow crops or keep animals. There is no scenery. No natural trees, lakes, rivers, mountains or forests. It is flat, hot and dusty. At one time (1900), there were just a handful (10,000) of Bedouins scratching a nomadic existence. Now terraforming is hard at work. Water from the ocean is desalinated and pumped into the desert sand until it blossoms green and vibrant. Elaborately shaped islands with luxury accommodation have been created to attract the rich and beautiful. In 2016, the world’s first functioning 3D-printed office building was opened in Dubai. It was built in just 17 days.
A positive move to embrace tourism has created a myriad of flashy air-conditioned hotels, shopping malls, beaches and other tourist attractions. Dubai hosts the world’s largest mall. With over 60 million shoppers a year, it attracts more visitors than the whole of New York City. The dusty road is now an eight-lane palm lined highway with traffic jams every day. The cars here are remarkable. Rolls Royce, Lamborghini, Maserati, Aston Martin and other high-end marques abound. Money attracts money. The banks, investment institutes, realtors, insurers and all the rest came here. They brought their lawyers and solicitors. Everyone needs shops and restaurants. Builders are working hard everywhere and so is all the support infrastructure needed to maintain a large and rapidly growing city. Dubai now supports 4 million people. 10% of these are local – the rest are their support infrastructure. The Dubai International Financial Centre (DIFC) is one of the world’s major financial centres. Dubai International Airport (DXB) is the world’s busiest airport for international passenger traffic, handling over 92 million passengers in 2024
On our first day in Dubai, we were given a tour of Old Dubai. This began by looking at some rebuilt traditional buildings. They feature towers with vents to give natural cooling. We also got to see a museum of local money. Possibly one of my most numbing museum experiences ever. Then we were invited to sit in a recreation of a nomadic camp. This was set up in a paved courtyard and included a very bored looking lonely camel. Some traditional boats took us across the river. By traditional, I really just mean old. Unless smoky old diesel engines are a tradition. And this brought us to the inevitable carpet shop. Today it was spices. We were all invited to smell at a range of open bins of ground spice mixes. They smelled alright but I could not help thinking. First, spices really need to be stored in airtight containers. Secondly, who would want to buy spices from a large open container that hundreds of people a day have been sniffing at? Diane bought herself a bar of Dubai chocolate. This is filled with kadayif (chopped filo pastry) and a pistachio-tahini cream. A couple of years ago it went a viral on social media leading to ridiculously inflated prices. Still cost £10 for a bar but it is quite tasty. Finally, we were left in the souks of old Dubai. Small streets packed with vendors and visitors. With the temperature in the high 30s, this was a vision of hell to me. I did not want to buy any gold or listen to dozens of enthusiastic shop keepers trying to sell it to me. I looked at the amount of saffron in the spice shops and was amazed. More saffron than I had ever seen. Fresh saffron is wonderful in food but also extremely expensive and needs to be kept in small, airtight containers. Here there were literally kilograms of the stuff, that is thousands of pounds worth, piled up in shop windows going stale.
In the evening, we had a dinner cruise. This sounded interesting and even a little romantic. Reality fell a little short. The boat was packed. The buffet dinner was a bit of a scrum. Wine cost over £50 for a cheap red. On balance, the food was quite nice and the views of the marina were interesting. But it was still hot. After a couple of hours cruising, I was starting to melt.
Next day was an early start to drive to Abhu Dhabi, capital of the United Arab Emirates (UAE or just Emirates). It is a federal semi-constitutional monarchy made up of seven emirates. Each emirate is a little country ruled by a family. All the families are related and traditionally inbred. Artificial insemination is being using to try and offset the genetic problems that this causes. Although less populous than Dubai, Abu Dhabi accounts for about two-thirds of the roughly $503 billion UAE economy. The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority (ADIA), headquartered in the city, is estimated to manage approximately US$1 trillion in assets, making it the world’s third-largest sovereign wealth fund. Like Dubai, the combination of big egos and big money makes for some remarkable vanity projects. The Emirates Palace is one of the most luxurious hotels ever. Ferrari World is a massive theme park which, unsurprisingly, houses the world’s fastest roller coaster.
Our first stop was the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque. Built over 13 years this gleaming white structure is the biggest mosque in the UAE. Sheikh Zayed commissioned the enormous building when he was president of the UEA. His altruistic purpose, “to establish a structure that would unite the cultural diversity of the Islamic world with the historical and modern values of architecture and art”. He is buried in the courtyard of the mosque so perhaps there is a hint of the Pharaoh tradition of building a shrine. Massive amounts of marble came from Macedonia, Italy and China. The floral design in the courtyard is the largest example of marble mosaic in the world. The exterior and interior are adorned with white marble. The marble is inlaid with precious stones like lapis lazuli, carnelian, amethyst, abalone shell, and mother of pearl. The UAE is a desert. Like most deserts it is very dusty. An army of workers are employed to keep this vast amount of white marble cleaned. We were told that the tops of the columns were gold plated. Unfortunately, to my untrained eye, this made them look like plastic. A sign at the entrance intrigued me. Teddy bears, certain hand gestures, hugging and lying down are all forbidden. So are masks, although niqab are encouraged. Inside is the world’s largest carpet. They seem enormously proud of this. I was tempted to point out that if this impresses you then check out the world’s biggest ball of twine in Cawker City, Kansas.
We got taken to an artisan craft area. Essentially yet another carpet shop and another place with a nomad’s tent and bored camel. We had a look at a beach and then got taken to the Louvre. Not the real one but another vanity project. It cost the Louvre Abu Dhabi $520 million to use the name “Louvre” for 30 years. This was agreed between the respective governments. The curators of the real Louvre were not at all keen and launched a futile petition against it. Surely it is not too difficult to think up an original name. We were scanned and x-rayed and searched to get in. This got us as far as the café. Then we needed to be searched and scanned again to see the actual painting. At this point our small rucksack and camera were banned so we decided to call it a day and went back outside for a coffee.
One of the paintings we did not see at the Abu Dhabi Louvre. We have tried looking at great art before and it does not usually go well.
