Ninety minutes on a small, cramped Air Egypt turboprop brought us to Luxor. Here we were introduced to our river boat, the Dwa. Here we also discovered we could buy wine at the bar. This made me very happy. Next morning, before 4am, we were up and wandering around in the darkness in preparation for a balloon flight. A short drive took us to a quayside on the Nile where we clambered into small boats. We were served coffee and Twinkie bars. Twinkies are American junk food invented in the 1930s that famously contain enough preservatives to survive the apocalypse. We were taken across the river in a sort of Harry Potter style and then loaded into more minibuses. At the take-off site I was warned to hide my camera. Anything other than a mobile phone is considered a professional camera for which you must pay extra. We also discovered that we had to pay to use the toilets. Some of our fellow aviators were annoyed about this – by now we have come to expect it.
By the time it was light enough to see what was going on, the balloons were laid out on the ground ready to go. At some sort of signal, the great inflation began with scores of large fans all roaring into life. Then came the burners and in just a few minutes we were being urged to clamber in. The basket was divided in eight compartments with four people in each and the pilot in the centre. We rose rapidly and were soon looking down at the next wave of balloons being prepared for lunch. All those balloons rising at once made a rather magnificent sight. Shortly afterwards the sun rose and we had some spectacular views. Towards the Nile were many fields of lush, green crops and clumps of buildings. In the other direction, past the limits of irrigation, was hard desert and temples. Temples everywhere. And statues, many statues. Luxor is sometimes described as the world’s largest outdoor museum. Further away we could see the valley of the kings where many elaborate burial sites are located. We also spotted the mortuary temple of Hatshepsut. Our pilot took us low over some of the temples. So low that I wondered if they sometimes managed to get tangled up in the stonework.
After about forty-five minutes we landed. A gentle enough touch down but fraught with its own dangers. Before I had managed to get out of the basket, I had met a young lad with a falcon who wanted to photograph me with it sat on my hand. Had he actually passed me the bird I would have been very tempted to let it free. There was also a seller of plastic scarab beetles and a vendor of particularly cheap looking Chinese mass-produced replicas of the Egyptian sun god Ra. We were collected by the minibus even before we were able to check that the other balloonists had landed without being skewered on a statue of Anubis. The jackal headed God has pointy ears that would be very bad for a balloon.
Next stop was the valley of the kings. Our flight had been in the cool of the early morning. By now the sun was properly getting a grip on things and the temperature had risen way up past my comfort limit. And it was crowded. Very crowded. This necropolis was used from 1500 BC for about 500 years and contains 65 tombs ranging from the magnificent to the lowly. It was here that Howard Carter discovered the tomb of Tutankhamun in 1922. 5,000 tourists a day visit the site.
Most of the tombs are kept closed in an attempt to preserve them. We had tickets that allowed us entry to four of the royal tombs. These are all ornately decorated with hieroglyphics and pictures. The largest of the four was the joint resting place of Ramesses V and Ramesses VI. This has been open since antiquity, as can be seen by the graffiti left on its walls by Roman and Coptic visitors. Almost all tombs throughout Egypt have been robbed. It began within a few decades of them being built. The curse of the mummy is likely a matter of hygiene. When a tomb is first opened it contains a lot of bad things. Radon gas can build up but also the by-products of decay over many years can give rise to all sorts of nasties such as airborne fungus, bacteria and so on. Those in the know will wait several days for the air to clear. But, if you rush in, the curse may get you.
We finished looking at tombs but then we still had to get past the vendors. The expression “running the gauntlet” comes from the traditional military punishment of receiving blows while running between two rows of men armed with sticks. In Egypt, the entrance/exit to any tourist attraction is only reached by passing through a bazaar. Two rows of shops with very forthright vendors. During this modern running of the gauntlet, you will be accosted repeatedly. Like a good chat-up line, the opening remark from a potential trader can be decisive. The going price for a Chinese mass-produced plastic replica statue of the Egyptian sun god Ra is about a dollar. Hence the common opener “Three dollars. Very cheap, my friend. Only three dollars”. This is your starting point for the negotiation. A more subtle line is “No hassle, come inside, just looking”. One of my favourites is “You are very lucky man to have such a beautiful daughter”. Today we heard “Everything inside is free, just come look” and yesterday we got “How can I take your money”, which I found refreshingly honest.
The tombs were a bit of an ordeal. They were packed with people so opportunities for photography or to even to see some of the key features were limited. It was hot, 38° and we were tired. By the time we exited the fourth tomb I was ready to quit. My eyes were beginning to blur and I was finding it very hard to be interested.
Still, we were not done yet. Despite getting in all the steps we needed for one day, we were whisked up to the temple of Hatshepsut. This is impressive. Three massive terraces rise above the desert floor supported by statues and stone columns. We wandered around, trying to keep to the shade. Then we slipped out past the vendors as quietly as possible.
By this stage all we really wanted was a nice cup of tea and a little lie down. However, first we had to visit the carpet shop. We discovered in Morocco that every tour has a carpet shop. Go with any guide for just about any purpose and you will inevitably end up in his brother’s carpet shop. The carpet shop is a principle, an idea, a template that can be used to sell anything from chocolates to hats. There are some key characteristics of a carpet shop. First of all, they are genuine. This is where they make the original article. Hand made by artisans. Copied by factories all over the world. If you are lucky, you will see a demonstration. Secondly the ingredients, components or whatever are genuine. They are the real, all natural, all local thing. No imports, synthetics or chemicals here. Finally, the cost will be exceptional value for money. It may seem very expensive but this is genuine article, hand made to the highest standards, feel the quality, will last forever, an investment.
Today’s carpet shop was an alabaster factory. Here they made pots, plaques and little statues. We watched a demonstration. We were served tea. We were invited to look around the shop. I spotted a very familiar looking statue of the sun God Ra but said nothing. A certain demographic in our group came out with a ton of souvenirs to grace their mantlepieces and impress the folks back home. They all seemed very happy with their purchases.
