December means Christmas is coming. This usually gives me an urge to leave the country. I am not so bothered about Christmas, never really have been. It is a family affair and in our family that did not seem to ever work too well. The problem however, my problem, is that I feel that I cannot be allowed to be indifferent to Christmas. There are many celebrations that I am not too bothered about, but which do not cause me a problem. Easter can pass me by without a chocolate bunny, on Burns night the haggis is optional and for Bonfire night I can choose to stay in without someone stashing gunpowder in the cellar. I leave them alone, they leave me alone, everyone is happy. With Christmas, I am not allowed to do this. We even have special words, derived from the absurd Dickensian Christmas fantasy, for people who will not conform. It is all-in. Like Marmite, love it or hate it, you cannot be ambivalent. The media starts its assault in November and by December is in full flood. Christmas this, Christmas that, Christmas the other and if you are not positively enthusiastic then “Bah! Humbug!” is the cry of shame you will be marked with. It is too much for me. Sometimes it feels like a scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. You may recall, when the pod-people encounter an unconverted human they point and scream. In this case one inadvertent disparagement of joyous noel brings forth the wagging fingers and the derisory “Bah! Humbug!”. Objectively, when I consider Christmas, I see a little religion and a massive amount of media hype. In all honesty, I am not too keen on either so each year, in November, the cross-channel ferry starts calling me. Obviously, despite Brexit, they still celebrate Christmas in the rest of Europe, but they don’t seem to make such a meal of it. What is more, if I am very lucky, I can get to ski instead of eating mince pies.
We took the Hull to Rotterdam ferry. This is our favourite way across to Europe. Short drive to Hull, meal, bar, sleep, breakfast, and you are good to go. This time we started off with a brief visit to Antwerp. Never been there before. Well, visited once on business but seeing just a hotel and an office does not really count. This time we wanted to spend a couple of days exploring. We found a nice enough place to stay a few kilometres outside the centre. Antwerp is busy, expensive, has tiny roads and barely any parking. We found it best to keep the car far from the centre and instead use the cheap and easy tram system.
Antwerp is mostly famous for chocolate and diamonds. It seemed sensible to keep Diane away from the diamonds, so we went to look at a chocolate exhibition. We both like a bit of chocolate and quite enjoyed learning about the history of chocolate and how it is made. Climax of the trip was a tasting involving a dozen or so distinct types of chocolate. The chocolate was being stirred in warm vats and we got to pour out a spoonful of each. Basic chocolate is either dark, milk or white. But, as I discovered there is now, in just the last few years, a new type of ruby chocolate. This is made from ruby cocoa beans and has a pink colour. The experts debate whether this is really a new type of chocolate – but it does taste rather good.
Wandering around Antwerp we found many museums and Christmas markets. We did our best to avoid both of these, but we did get lured into a couple of churches, How come churches do not put up Christmas decorations? We saw a few nativity scenes and lights on the outside but inside there was nothing. No tinsel on the pews, no plastic penguins on the altar, not a bauble on the lectern and the choir boys were not wearing Santa outfits. The Cathedral of Our Lady was our first dive into catholic artistic overindulgence. Many paintings by the Dutch Masters of which Rubens was prominent. He spent much of his life in Antwerp, so I imagine it was handy for the local cathedral that the paintings did not have to be sent far. The cathedral also sports some terrific stained-glass windows, the excessively ornate tomb of Isabella of Bourbon and a mighty organ. Sadly, there was no-one around to play it. The Sint-Pauluskerk church was a much more modest affair in terms of touristic hype and entry fee but, nonetheless, sported what was possibly a better array of paintings. Rubens must have been terribly busy at times. Next morning, our interest in churches sated for the next few years, we left Antwerp and set a course south.
We stayed in a gypsy caravan guarded by a fierce looking sheep. Then we spent my birthday in a little cabin with a lovely view and a hot tub. Diane enjoyed the hot tub, but I discovered that the high level of chlorine in the water played havoc with my skin and made me itch for days. South through France the weather was consistently terrible. Very wet and windy. Arriving at the Jura mountains we found the remains of snow being washed away by the rain. No chance of skiing here. We did however, find a lovely hotel restaurant that served us a fantastic fondu with morel mushrooms.
We pushed on south through the Alps, in the rain, and through the Fréjus Road Tunnel into Italy where the weather finally began to improve. At Oulx there was a lovely hotel in the mountains opposite a restaurant with the best pizza since the last time we were in Italy. Next day, in glorious sunshine, we crossed the Col de Montgenèvre back into France at Briançon and then south-west back to Italy over the fabulous Col de Larche.
By the evening we had arrived at Mondovi, a lovely little Italian town where we holed up for Christmas. Here we spent a few days pottering round and enjoying the tranquillity of a small mountain town.
We visited the old part of town, admired the architecture, climbed the clock tower and generally had a few very peaceful days. The apartment we had hired proved to be very nice and, as usual, we enjoyed cooking for ourselves. After three days we had done enough peacefulness and were ready to get back on the road.
