Miniatur Wunderland

We are going back to Svalbard. Last year we had a brilliant land-based week there doing dog sledding and snowmobiles. This time we were going to sail right around the archipelago with HX (formerly known as Hurtigruten Expeditions) on the converted ferry boat, the MS Spitzbergen.

First, we needed to get to Oslo. We chose to drive. Partly because I liked the idea of a short road trip in the newly repaired Range Rover. Also to visit a few friends along the way. The friends all turned out to be unavailable, so we went to Miniatur Wunderland instead. A converted warehouse in Hamburg is home to what Guinness World Records describes as the world’s largest model railway system. Apparently one of the most popular and visited sights in Germany. 1,230 digitally controlled trains with 12,000+ wagons. 5,280 houses, more than 11,800 vehicles, 52 airplanes and around 290,000 figures.

It is all quite remarkable. The entire train set spans several rooms and two buildings. The scenes are all interconnected. Here and there are glass panels set into the floor where you can see trains travelling between the different areas. Every 15 minutes or so the room lights fade and the models go into night mode. Tiny little lights, thousands of them, switch on everywhere. The first few rooms are areas around Hamburg and then things get progressively ambitious. The airport features planes taking off and landing. Austria has working cable cars. There is real water, with tides, in the North Sea. Antarctica obviously has penguins as well as a detailed model of the wreck of Shackleton’s ship, the Endurance. Elsewhere we could see scenes of Peru and the altiplano being created.

There are numerous scenarios being acted out. Some sort of criminal heist on a bridge. Several buildings on fire. Racing fire trucks. A car crash. A petrol station sign displaying, electronically, real fuel prices. Cars and trucks run on the roads. A model of the Monaca F1 racetrack features a live race. An enormous amount of electronics and computers must be used to control everything.

A sense of humour pervades all the model scenes. I did not expect this in Hamburg. Looking carefully, you can spot kangaroos in unlikely places. The odd dinosaur. Quite a lot of penguins. One of which was jumping in a bouncy castle. There is a crashed spaceship in the mountains and a motorised toilet in Monaco.

We spent about three hours there by which time it was starting to feel a bit stuffy and claustrophobic. Probably a wonderful place for spreading Covid. It was however interesting and quite rewarding – the more time you spent studying the detail, the more you could spot. In some ways Miniature Wunderland, is a testament to what happens if a gang of nerdy types have too much time on their hands. On the other hand, it a great demonstration of just how far you can go with a model train set.

Leaving Hamburg, we drove north to Denmark where we stumbled across sand sculptures in the town of Søndervig. Advertised as “more than just sandcastles”. This is an annual event where artists from around the world create elaborate sand art. I think they must then do something to stabilise the sand. When we arrived, it was drizzling but the sand was not being washed away. The theme for this year was the history of Greenland. The kingdom of Denmark includes Greenland – a fact which has received considerable attention lately since Trump suggested that the US could purchase it. I suspect Denmark is actively trying to draw attention to this.

We chose a beautiful scenic route up the west coast of Denmark. The rain and mist unfortunately made it look like just about everywhere else when it is raining and foggy. Arriving at Hirtshals, we took the ferry to Larvik. About three hours of sailing in the fog and rain. Eventually we arrived at our hotel close to the airport.

Next day we found Oslo airport to be remarkably busy. We arrived at lunchtime and there were long queues at the security check. An hour later, the security woman was complaining at me. We get told not to put electronics and batteries in hold luggage. It goes in the hand luggage and gets checked on a conveyor belt through an x-ray machine. My luggage typically contains a lot of camera gear. Usually this goes straight through the machine. At least nine out of ten trips. In Oslo, the very stern woman declared that it all needed to be unpacked and sent back through the machine separately. I was trying to hold my trousers up at the time because I had been instructed to remove my belt before walking though the machine with a green light. The woman complained that I was wasting her time by putting my belt on before emptying the case. I was not keen on dealing with a grumpy security person with my trousers half down. Thus, we arrived at the interesting situation where she was visibly annoyed with me for wasting her time while I was similarly annoyed at her for wasting my time. I have long since learned that expressing annoyance, or any emotion really, at border officials is to invite extra delays, searching and worse. My face was in the fixed, vacuous smile saved for such occasions. She complained that she had a protracted line of people to check. I thought that maybe if they did not insist on unpacking everything that it might go a bit quicker. And I maintained the smile. Eventually, once all my camera parts had been round at least twice, I got to repack the bag. This caused further annoyance because I needed to use the counter space that she might otherwise have employed for being grumpy at another passenger. Finally packed and ready to leave I was stopped by another border official who wanted to see my passport. It was the sole occupant of my breast pocket. I handed it over and he carefully checked to make sure I was not smuggling anything inside it. Even gave it a little shake. The smile almost slipped.

Four hours later we arrived at the very tiny airport in Longyearbyen, Svalbard. It was still a bit cloudy, so we saw little during the aircraft’s approach. Fortunately, it began to clear just as we landed and I could spot tantalising splashes of snow on the hillsides.

Grossglockner

Austria’s high alpine road, the Großglockner, was purpose built as a tourist attraction in the 1930s. At 2,500 m, it is the highest road in Austria and attracts over 350,000 vehicles each year. The biker hotel Birkenhof served us a great breakfast. They also sold us a discounted ticket for the Grossglockner, which is a toll road. The sun was out and a few clouds scudded around the alpine foothills. The weather was almost perfect. Warm without being hot. Dry and clear.

We were heading north. The road wound up a range of hills with tantalising views of the alps in the distance. Then we dropped down into the Drautal valley, a beautiful area of mountains, forests, waterfalls and rivers. Popular not only because of the road but also for skiing, biking, hiking and climbing. At Dölsach, we left the main valley and started following the Möll river north to the foot of the Grossglockner mountain. Here we could skip the queue at the toll booth with our pre-paid ticket and started the climb up to the Kaiser-Franz-Josefs-Höhe visitors’ centre at 2,369 m.

Apparently, Emperor Franz visited here in 1856 and quite liked the place. I could see why. The views are spectacular although the glacier has mostly melted now. An impressive collection of old cars was coming down the road. They all had badges indicating an organised rally. In fact, the whole place was busy with many drivers out enjoying the weather. After seeing an enthusiastic motorcyclist nearly make a spectacular mess of a corner, we resolutely decided to keep it slow and safe. There are a few places on this road where if you came off it would really spoil your day.

We hung around the observation platform for a while and spotted some marmots. A couple of real, live animals at the bottom of a wall and hundreds of stuffed toys in the enormous souvenir shop. There were many motorbikes parked up in a large parking area exclusively for bikes. The road is particularly popular with bikers. We reckoned we saw more big motorcycles in this one day than we saw in the whole of the rest of our trip.

Heading higher up we passed through a small tunnel which crosses the Alpine divide. On the north side of the Alps we followed a side road up to the Edelweißspitze viewpoint at 2,571 m. This involves a sequence of hairpins bends on a narrow, cobbled road. Care and balance required. With a fully loaded bike and a pillion this can be a bit tricky. We succeeded without embarrassing ourselves and parked up with the other bikes.

More beautiful views. Majestic mountains. Snow and glaciers fuelling the many torrents cascading down precipitous, craggy walls. Far in the distance is a glimpse into the lush valleys. A lovely little mountain hut, the Edelweißhutte, is here. They were doing a roaring trade serving bikers sat around in the sunshine. It was not just bikers up here. But it was mostly bikers. We discovered that you could stay overnight in the Edelweißhutte. An excellent adventure, at 2,571 m, for another time. We needed to press on.

Descending the cobbles was a little easier than getting up. Back on the road we began negotiating the seemingly endless sequence of hairpins that bring you down off the Hochtor pass. The air got warmer. Steep, rocky walls gave way to forested slopes. Amongst fields of cows, we passed the northern toll booth on our way to Bruck in the Salzach valley. We had been in this area last winter for some skiing. It looked hugely different now. The ski runs were green tongues lapping down the hillsides and the frozen lakes were blue and alive with birds. Late afternoon we bade goodbye to the Alps and crossed into a bit of Czechia that sort of protrudes into Austria.

Next day, we started the trek back to the UK. North through Czechia. Pilsen. Carlsbad. Then into Germany near Leipzig. From there, pretty much due west to Rotterdam and the ferry. Five days of steady riding. Each morning, we would breakfast, get our riding gear on, pack the bike and set off down the road. In the evening, we would arrive, relax for a while, have dinner and go to bed. After six weeks on the road, we had totally settled into the rhythm of it. The last few days were thoroughly enjoyable although there was nothing spectacular. We took very few photos. I often find that at the very end of a trip you start looking backwards more than forwards. Reflecting on everything that happened. 14,000 km. 12 countries. It had been a good one.

Cruising

We went on a cruise. David, husband of my baby sister Helen, had a cruise on his bucket list. Diane and I are not really cruise people but we thought we might enjoy a short one. So between us, we found a good deal on a short trip around the English Channel on board the MSC Virtuosa. First step was to drive to Southampton. We stayed at the Southampton Harbour hotel. Good hotel. Friendly and accommodating with an excellent breakfast. When we first arrived, we drove right up to the front door, which helped a lot with David and our great pile of luggage. The hotel parked the cars for us while we on the ship and shuttled us to and from the ship. Room was comfortable and we had a nice view over the marina. Top marks.

We had paid a bit extra for some nice cabins. This also meant that when we arrived at the cruise terminal, we were fast tracked through security and the other formalities. I’ll admit that we did quite enjoy this but more seriously it made things a lot more comfortable for David. Once onboard, our first impressions were very positive. The cabin was terrific. Plenty of space and nice little balcony. Helen and Dave had a lovely cabin as well. Also, it had a walk-in shower and a few other adaptations to make life a bit easier for them. Later, we reconvened in the bar where we discovered free champagne and nibbles. Of course, when I say ‘free’, I mean that they were included in the rather substantial ticket price but it felt like free which was good enough. I suspect one of the pleasures of cruising is that it takes you off into a different and, temporarily, better sort of world.

First stop was Brest in France. It rained. It seriously rained. We went into town, walked around for a couple of hours, got very wet then headed back to the ship. In the evening we explored the rest of the ship. The MSC Virtuosa only came into service a year ago. It is brand new. It is big as well, 182,000 tonnes, that means, up to 6,000 passengers being looked after by 1,700 crew. It is equipped with all the modern cruise ship facilities such as bars, restaurants, swimming pools, gym, games, casino, shops and on and on. You can easily lose several hours just wandering round. Fortunately, we had picked a week after the school holidays and before the Christmas markets, when the vessel not so many people were cruising. Our cabins were at the front of the ship in a relatively small area referred to as the ‘Yacht Club’. The area was at well less than half capacity, which made it quiet and peaceful.

Next day was supposed to be Cherbourg but the weather was too bad. Cruise ships tend to avoid bad weather. They are sea-worthy and generally capable of dealing with strong winds and big seas but this is not what the passengers expect. On commercial ships it is not uncommon for the vessel to roll sufficiently to spill your coffee and send your plate sliding across the table. However, cruise passengers are not salty sea-dogs and would worry if their cocktail glass were not finely balanced. So, on passengers ships there are often stabilisers on the hull look like little wings and steady the ship against the ocean swell. These work up to a point. The sides of the ship stop a lot of wind. Again this can be compensated for by the stabilisers and by using ballast water but only to a point. So we skipped Cherbourg and spend two days at sea heading, slowly, towards Hamburg. Up on the top deck is a swimming pool, a hot tub and an open air bar. In fine, sunny weather this would be lovely. However, with cold rain blowing horizontally across the deck it was less pleasant. Helen is a fell runner and is completely unphased by horizontal rain so we gave the hot tub a go. Fortifying ourselves with champagne definitely helped.

A local taxi driver gave us a short tour of Hamburg. It is a big city with two million inhabitants and 2,500 bridges – most bridges of any European city. The port area, third largest in Europe, is massive so it took us a while just to drive away from the cranes, ships and lorries into the centre. Hamburg is popular with tourists and has a large central shopping area. We wandered around for a while and David bought a couple of smart new shirts. Found a lovely little café for a late lunch, with beer and then headed back to the ship.

Bruges was the only place that MSC managed to provide genuinely wheelchair accessible transport. It was advertised for many of the excursions but, we discovered, what they really meant was the wheelchair user needed to get out of the chair and walk up the steps into a coach. Then they would put the wheel chair in the storage. Helen patiently explained to the MSC excursions people that David could not get up to walk and that wheelchair accessible normally meant accessible in a wheelchair. Eventually we got our money back but it was a bit annoying. The coach took us a short way along the coast to Blankenberge. From here we could get a train into the centre of Bruges. All felt like a bit of an adventure. The weather was greatly improved and Bruges was lovely. The main part of the town is a modest size and easily small enough to walk around. There are some lovely old buildings, many chocolate shops, souvenir shops and other tourist essentials. We all remarked on how clean the place is – no litter at all. After a bit of a general wander around we found ourselves in a bar. This was such a surprise that we had a beer. In fact we had several beers, small ones, arranged on a tray as a tasting set. It seemed appropriate to try several local brews as this particular bar had what they called a ‘beer wall’. A glass fronted wall supporting racks and racks of beer bottles. The wall is over 30m long and displays 1,250 different types of Belgian beers. This bar set the mood so when we arrived at the only local brewery actually in Bruges, we were primed to taste a whole bunch more beers along with a selection of cheeses. Doesn’t get much better.

Retracing our steps proved a little more problematic. We arrived back at Blankenberge to discover that the one wheelchair accessible coach had been sent home for the day. We waited patiently for over an hour while apologetic excursion people made many phone calls. Eventually, just as we were starting to get really cold, the coach arrived. The ship sailed on time but we only boarded five minutes beforehand.

Next day we were at Le Havre. This is quite a commercial port. Seems particularly busy with wind generators at the moment. Massive yards filled with turbine blades and other components. Opposite Le Havre, on the other side of the River Seine is the little city of Honfleur. We found a local taxi that would take us round there. The drive was quite interesting. We crossed over the impressive Pont de Normandie bridge. Our driver seemed particularly proud of this. Honfleur is a pretty place. The central area is a large collection of old buildings. Some dating back to the 15th century. Apparently Monet like to come here to paint. We particularly like the harbour area. When we first arrived, our very helpful taxi driver, pointed out the best place for lunch, ”where the locals eat”. So we booked a table and went for a stroll around. The centre of Honfleur is a very impressive wooden church built in the 15th century. The famous “Axe masters” of the naval yards of the city created this lovely building without using any saws, just like their Norman ancestors the Vikings before them. Shortly after this we found a shop specialising in truffles, which caught my attention. And then a shop selling just nougat, which caught David’s attention. Lunch was great but then we had to head back to the ship, which was sailing quite early so as to get back to Southampton the next morning.

Another item on David’s bucket list was a casino. So in the evening we got dressed up and headed down there. After a little looking around he settled on Black Jack as his game and invested in some chips. We ordered some vodka martinis and gathered round to watch. Helen needed to actually play the chips under Dave’s instructions. At some point in the proceedings he began calling her ‘Moneypenny’ despite the obvious risk of getting slapped. It took a while but eventually he lost all his money. In my experience this is what always happens at casinos and nobody was surprised. Dave was happy that he had played a casino and so we retired to the champagne to toast the end of good trip.

Boxes and borders

From Estonia we drove south through Latvia and Lithuania to Poland. We had arranged to meet friends in the bottom, right hand corner of Poland.

Shortly after to getting to Poland I began to form an opinion that driving in Poland was a bit more exciting than normal. The typical driver tended to be faster, closer and more assertive that we had been used to. Clearly one always needs to be careful of broad generalisations so I looked up some statistics. In particular, I looked at the ETSC (European Transport Safety Council) website that contains up to date road safety information. Poland is right up there with a road death rate about three times that in Sweden. Romanian and Bulgaria appear pretty dangerous too. We have that to look forward to. Our first evening in Poland we parked by some lovely forests and found one of the more deadly poisonous mushrooms, Destroying Deathcap, growing abundantly. Feels like you need to be careful in Poland.

Look at this photo closely. It was taken by our dashcam, looking down through the front windscreen. In the top, left you can see another truck. This is approximately the same size as Baloo, 20 tonnes, and doing the same sort of speed. So the gap between the trucks is closing at around 160 kmph (100 mph) which is 44m per second. When that gap closes by another 5m there will not be enough space for the car to fit through. This will take approximately a tenth of a second. Baloo was already as far to the side of the narrow road as possible. I was breaking as hard as I dared given the queue of vehicles that were far too close behind me. All the first two or three cars could see was the back of the truck so if I slowed too rapidly they would all run into each other and me. Our rear under-ride guard suffers enough damage without having to disentangle cars from it as well.

At best, this guy and his passengers avoided dying and causing a major accident by less than two tenths of a second. That is not judgment or skill – just luck.

We met up with the wonderful Lars and Inge with their magnificent Volvo C303 and pottered around Poland for a few days. They have been working hard on the Volvo, turning an aging military vehicle into a terrifically capable overland camper. The weather was working against us. Rain and wind much of the time. We had a few pleasant walks and ate some foraged mushrooms one evening. We camped on a hill, by a river several times, on another hill and finally by a lake. Eventually they headed north to explore Kraków and we were feeling the call to go west in preparation for returning to the UK. A day later the road we been following for hours was abruptly closed. Lacking any diversion information, we wandered down some increasingly narrow lanes and then got forced, by weight restrictions onto the motorway. Five minutes later we were in Slovakia.

When we stumbled into Slovakia we had to buy a tracking box for Baloo. This is how the road toll is paid. The box is pre-paid, you can top it up and the funds trickle away at about €1 per 5 km. I am not a fan of road tolls. I doubt many drivers are. It seems to me that if each country maintained its own roads through national vehicle taxation and made them freely usable by foreigners then the costs would about balance out. However, while the cost of the tolls is an irritation, the implementation of the toll system in some countries can be a real problem. Arriving at the Polish border, I was expecting to need to buy a tracking box. However the border guards thought they were only needed for commercial vehicles and anyhow there was nowhere to buy one. They also cheerfully directed us down a road with a 7.5t weight limit. It was very strange and a bit uncomfortable. I was sure there would be a police car waiting round the corner for us. We got on to an unrestricted road as soon as possible and then avoided the motorways just in case. I still do not really know if a heavy motorhome needs a tracking box in Poland.

Some countries use toll booths. They are rarely suitable for a truck, at least, not a modern truck like Baloo. At the French Péage, my technique is to stop so that the door is just past the automated pay station. Then I can open the door and lean out, hanging onto the window frame, to reach underneath the door and access the ticket slot. In Morocco I looked down out of the window to see a hand reaching out of the ticket office towards me. At full stretch I could just touch the hand with the tip of a ten dirham note. The hand disappeared for a second and then reappeared with my ticket, which I retrieved using the same ligament stretching manoeuvre. Never saw the person, just a hand. Czech Republic uses a similar looking box to Slovakia but, I think, it only charges for certain major roads. For Austria we have a post-pay box linked to a bank account and for Slovenia a box linked to an internet account that I can top up remotely. Our collection of boxes is steadily growing.

Baloo is registered as a motorhome (wohnmobile) rather than a commercial vehicle and in some countries this is respected. Germany for example, charges a toll on all heavy goods vehicles but not motorhomes. In Norway they use number plate recognition cameras. The implementation is almost painless in that you do not need to anything.  You can register on the Norwegian toll company website. I think they will still find you and send you bill even if you do not register but it gave us the opportunity to prove our motorhome status and get a reduction. As described in an earlier blog, Hungary uses it toll system to prohibit all but the keenest large motorhome drivers. This may not be an intentional consequence so I would encourage them to rethink what they are doing.  

Three more days of steady driving and a blast along the German autobahns saw us back at the Unicat workshop. We left Baloo to be serviced and tested, jumped in the car and set off back to the UK. The blast of Covid bureaucracy was staggering. Most of Europe is getting on with life now but approaching the UK we stepped back into the thick of the pandemic and country that loves its paperwork. At the port I had to spend twenty minutes re-doing our passenger locator forms. These cannot be changed, only re-done from the start. We had come from Germany and were told to include being in the Netherlands. The reality was that the only time our feet touched the ground in the Netherlands was the twenty minutes when we had to go into the terminal building to redo our passenger locator forms. Cent had a narrow escape. On the previous day his passport had only been marked with the date of his worming treatment and not the exact time. The requirements are that the treatment should be between 24 and 120 hours before entering GB. Mathematically there was no strict necessity for an exact time. The previous day was separated from the arrival time by at least 30 hours but no more than 54 hours. I considered getting out the blackboard and chalk but obviously it was more productive to just to smile hopefully while petting the dog. The official consulted with two other officials and someone senior. Not sure if they eventually worked it out but they did agree, on this occasion, to let the omission pass.

Sweden

In two months we have to be back in the UK. We figured this was just long enough to circumnavigate the Gulf of Bothnia. We would see a bit more Scandinavia, this time in the summer, and more of eastern Europe.

We took our time heading north. Settling back into the rhythm of travelling while exploring some of the wonderful forests in northern Germany. The forests are suffering at the moment. Extreme weather events, three successive droughts, storms and forest fires are taking their toll. Some areas have massive bark beetle infections. Vast tracts of forest are being clear-felled, leaving the hills bruised, battered and bare.

In the very north of Germany we visited Kai and his wife Urte whom we had first met outside the walls of Taroudant in Morocco. We had a terrific evening eating, drinking and listening to some remarkable and scary tales of their desert travels in a Unimog back in the days when it was actually possible to drive south to north through Algeria. Next day we crossed into Denmark and spent a couple of days with the ever wonderful Lars and Inge. They loaded us up with fantastic homemade and home grown produce before we headed for the coast.

A quiet night on the beach and we were ready for the ferry to Sweden. Two years ago we had driven over the bridge from Copenhagen. The bridge is an awesome engineering achievement and fun to drive across. It is also very expensive. This time we took the slightly cheaper and much more sedate ferry to Halmstad. By the evening we were parked next to some woods in Sweden.

North and still further north. For the first couple of days it rained. We plodded along in the drizzle watching endless forests and lakes go past. Before long the roads were getting quieter and we felt we were leaving the bustle of holiday season in southern Sweden behind us.

We both enjoy being in and around woodland. In years past, we owned a small plot of ancient woodland. This was a complete delight and the perfect retreat from the stresses of running a small company. It also taught both of us a lot. We achieved a formal qualification in woodland management but more importantly, we also learned to deeply appreciate what goes on in the forest. The way balance is achieved and the delicate interactions between the vast multitude of living things deep in a forest is quite remarkable. These days we are very happy to spend time exploring and experiencing new forests.

The weather cleared up just as we happened to find ourselves in a quiet, secluded area of forest. So we stayed there for a while. Exploring the forest we discovered discarded antlers and other traces of reindeer. We also found an abundance of fungi. I was particularly proud to find an example of the mushroom featured on the cover picture of my mushroom book. We also found a wonderful edible fungus called Hedgehog mushroom. This is a firm, white mushroom that makes excellent eating. After a bit of sorting, we gently fried them in butter with a dash of fresh thyme and black pepper. Went perfectly with a glass of white wine.

Hungary

Two months of housekeeping chores. Mostly this was sorting out some of the post-Brexit officialdom that has been dumped on us. Being in mainland Europe during the final spasms of Brexit has not only been deeply embarrassing but has also caused us a whole bunch of practical problems. Other jobs on the list included making a few improvements to Baloo and getting Covid vaccinations. This has now all happened but was a bit of a chore and some days ran dangerously close to tedium. Cent is now German. Britain has turned its back on the European pet passport scheme so British dogs cannot sensibly travel abroad any more. In fact, because Cent was out of the UK when the Brexit guillotine fell, he was in serious danger of becoming an illegal immigrant. Happily, he is now a genuinely German, German Shepherd with a passport recognized all around Europe and in the UK as well.

At the end of June, with our chores almost complete, we made a short trip to Bologna to meet up with Franca and Davide. They have a beautiful house in the countryside that they let us use for a few days. They also acted as local guides, giving us a great insight into life in this part of Italy. We stood on the beach at San Marino – but only briefly because it was very hot. We visited a vineyard in the hills and then visited a dog sanctuary run by Lia. Here the dogs could play in the river and cool off properly. Italy is hot in the summer. Cent and I struggled with the heat a bit.

We went to a producer of Balsamico di Modena (in Modena of course) where we saw how vinegar is made and drank some that was 100 years old. Most “Balsamic” is ordinary vinegar with artificial colouring and flavouring. Having tasted the real thing it is obvious why, but still rather sad, that it is copied so frequently.

We ate breakfast Italian style – strong, fresh coffee with sweet pastries. We explored the old city of Bologna and visited a big church on a hill. One evening we went to the most remarkable shop where we tasted many types of wine. Each one was paired with some tasty cheese or other small serving of food. For me, this was the perfect way to spend an evening.

Somehow, during the day or even last thing in the evening, there always seemed to be ice cream. Not just ice cream but intensely creamy and very tasty Italian ice cream. Even I enjoyed it – and I don’t like ice cream.

We needed to get back to Germany for our second covid jabs but we promised to return, possibly when the weather was a little cooler. Coming back over the Swiss Alps we took in a couple of mountain passes, partially to enjoy the views but also to enjoy being cool for a while.

Travelling in Austria is difficult and expensive. We tried it twice and vowed never to go there again. However we wanted to go to Budapest to buy some sand ladders so we chose to suck it up, pay the tolls and straight line Austria to get to Hungary. We were looking forward to visiting Hungary.

Hungary has the most remarkable road toll system. Like many people, I am not a fan of road tolls. Modern European road tolls arrived in the 20th century to fund the development of the motorway network. The Italians started all this in 1924. In the 1950s France, Spain and Portugal began an enormous expansion of motorways based entirely on tolls. These days pretty much every European country has some sort of toll system. We have noted before that entry into Switzerland is usually about making sure that you have paid the toll. Other countries take things a bit further by requiring vehicles, usually the heavier vehicles, to carry tracking devices that are detected by sensors on overhead gantries. This is linked to an account which is debited every time you pass a sensor. The device emits a ding when this happens but in my mind it is more like the “ker-ching” sound of a cash register.

Hungary, we discovered, has now raised the bar even higher if you drive a vehicle over 3.5t, regardless of classification. Each day, you need to visit a special machine which will plan your route for you. Obviously you need to know where you are going first and in some detail. There is no chance of stumbling upon the serendipitously perfect place to end the day. You need to choose from a list of approved destinations. If it is not on the list then you cannot go there. Then you need to enter your vehicle information – weight, dimensions, registration details and so on. With this the great machine constructs your route. It will choose motorways even if this is the long way around or if this by-passes a scenic route.  The machine informs you of the cost. The route is printed and you go to the cash desk to pay for it. This involves a microphone to record the conversation, a prepared speech (in Hungarian – I have no idea what was said) a couple of signatures, payment and more speech. The route is valid for 24 hours. You must have a pre-paid route for every trip you do and you cannot deviate from the route.

In practice, what this means in terms of exploring Hungary, is that you can drive around a few motorways. You will pay a lot to explore these two lane, poorly maintained, motorways and at night you get to park in one of the rubbish strewn service stations. I guess pre-booked space at a campsite might be an option but it would need to be pre-booked because if you got there and they were full – you would have to immediately find a machine to make a route and pay the toll to go – to go where? – well, somewhere on the list that you could spend a night, probably a service station.

We entered Hungary having paid €25 for a D2 vehicle ‘sticker’. With the information presented at the official website this appeared to be good for a motorhome for ten days. To be on the safe side I checked with a roadside office when we arrived. They were displaying big signs with the exact same information as the website. All good then? No. No – not at all good. We were escorted several kilometers down the road to the Nemzeti Útdíjfizetési Szolgáltató (National Toll Payment Services) office in Lébény. Here I was introduced to the great machine and told we were not a D2 but a J3. Baloo is officially registered as a motorhome (wohnmobil). This is respected in most of Europe to distinguish it from a commercial vehicle. In the National Toll Payment Services office this distinction was irrelevant.  Where did I want to go? Well – we wanted to potter around Hungary for a couple of days absorbing some scenery and culture before ending up in Budapest to buy sand ladders. But where exactly do you want to go? I pointed to the map and we typed a destination into the machine. It described a long route which was almost entirely motorway. And where will you stay? No idea. We usually just rock up somewhere and find a quiet spot. It slowly dawned on me that the only way we could ‘potter’ would be to move between pre-determined service stations so at this point, we bailed. Hungary was clearly impossible. I explained that I just wanted to return the 10km we had come from the border with Austria. Most of this distance was while we were being escorted to the office. Back to the great machine. Create a route back to the border, enter the vehicle details and pay the €10. Do we have to pay for driving to the National Toll Payment Services office? Yes. Any chance of credit on the D2 sticker we were misled in to buying? No. No chance at all.

That was our experience of Hungary. 10km of motorway, seen in both directions, at a cost of €35. Temperature 30°C. Traffic moderate. Scenery non-existent. Most of the time spent in a soulless National Toll Payment Services office poring over a soulless machine getting my money patiently removed by soulless officials. This now makes Hungary our most unwelcoming country in Europe and Austria is relegated to number two.

This was the only photograph I took in Hungary

From Austria we looped south to Italy before returning via Switzerland. Europe is clearly getting back to normal. Housekeeping done, jabs done, truck done – time to get back on the road.

Schwarzwald

The Covid is messing with our travel plans. It is messing with everyone’s plans, not just travel plans. I am not complaining. The problem for us is about deciding where to go. We have been camped in the field at Unicat for way too long. Christmas is going to bring a surge of new outbreaks and the evolution of a new, more infectious strain makes things even worse. We are hoping that patience is the key. This will be over soon. There will be an effective vaccine program and then life will get much easier. In the meantime, we have to stay safe and follow the rules. International travel is possible.  but problematic in a motor home. We are clearly not travelling on business or going back home. We would need to pay for Covid tests at every border. The situation could change with very little notice and we might end up stuck again. For a while, we are going to stay in Germany, explore the hills and forests, avoid people.

The Black Forest is a large, forested area of mountains in the bottom, left hand corner of Germany just to the south of the Unicat workshop. It is roughly 160km NS by 50km. To the South is Switzerland and to the West is France. Tourism is important. There are many attractions and pretty villages. There are also numerous hiking trails and large tracts of forest and hills. We can park in lay-bys and designated parking areas for a night or two, do a walk in the local area and then move on. Some places were very busy. I guess nobody has gone away on holiday. No one had gone to visit friends or relatives. The cinemas, hotels, leisure centres, bars and tourist attractions are all closed. One of the few activities left is to drive out to the hills and go for a walk. Fortunately, we could still find some quiet places and usually, a kilometre or so away from the car park there was nobody at all.

The snow came. A great big overnight dump that transformed the scenery. Me and the dog got very excited about it. There are a few ski areas in the Black Forest. Typically, they have one draglift and one piste. All closed because of the Covid but after the snow came they were packed with visitors. The car parks were full to bursting and overflowing. The slopes were thick with people, sledges, skis, children and the occasional dog. We did our best to stay well clear but even so were caught up in a traffic jam caused by excessive roadside parking.

By New Year’s Eve, we were pushing the limits in terms of finding quiet places and found ourselves on a very narrow road deep in the woods. The road climbed up and the snow was falling. Just after we reached the highest point, the truck started sliding. We were only going slowly. Not much more than walking pace. However, Baloo was inexorably slipping sideways. The soft fresh snow compressed to wet ice under the tyres and gave us no grip at all. I stuck the front left wheel into the ditch to stop us. To the right was a steep, wooded slope that I really did not want to get involved with. We eased the truck forward to straighten it up on the road and dropped the rear wheels into the ditch to get everything stable and safe.

Several deep breaths later, we set about getting the snow chains out. These were stowed inside the spare wheels for summer storage and it took us over an hour just to get them ready. Baloo has work lights front and back. These proved to be very effective in the gathering darkness, reflecting off the snow on the floor and in the trees to illuminate the whole area. Normally snow chains are fitted by laying them out on the road and driving the vehicle to pull them onto the tyres. We had to modify this approach because one wheel was in a ditch. I managed to get very wet and muddy. Eventually, the chains were in place and we set about getting out of the ditch. With diff-locks fully engaged this worked really well but we needed to be very careful about the rear wheels. We only have one pair of chains, fitted at the front, so there is nothing to stop the rear wheels sliding sideways. This had never been a problem in our previous ice travels but now it was a serious worry. The road was treacherously slippery with quite a steep camber towards a very steep slope into the forest. The dark made this look especially ominous. We reversed back up the hill. The camber was less this way and pushing the vehicle carefully uphill we could make sure that rear wheels did not drift sideways. A few hundreds of meters later, we reached a level patch where we could park off the road and finally relax. The champagne to celebrate the New Year was particularly enjoyable.

Next morning, not a single vehicle had passed in the night. The snowplough came past about 8 am dropping grit behind it. We had a slow start and by the time we left, just before midday, the road was completely clear of ice and snow.

Over the next few days, we completed our exploration of the Schwarz Wald (Black Forest). Found a few more delightful places to walk and some quiet corners to park. Eventually we turned back towards the Unicat workshop. Time, yet again, to reappraise our travel plans. Also we might think about getting a second pair of snow chains.  

Fettling

We have been fettling Baloo. A few repairs and a few modifications at the Unicat workshop.

Our nine-month trip to Morocco was quite harsh on the truck in some respects. The dust from the desert gets everywhere. It is quite remarkably invasive and persistent. I imagine we will still be finding it years from now. In addition, the sea air is insidiously corrosive. The windows suffered quite badly from this combination of attacks. The blinds jammed up with dust, the hinges seized up and even the stainless steel metalwork had developed a patina. Fortunately, the windows are solidly built. I was able to completely dismantle them for cleaning, oiling and rubbing down. Most of the blinds were freed up without problem although we did need to replace two that had ripped. Cleaned and reassembled they are looking good again.

Many of the door locks and switches were jamming up with dust. Especially the ones at the rear of the vehicle that, at times, was completely enveloped in dense, billowing clouds of the Sahara’s best. Careful cleaning was the key to restoring the locks. Compressed air helped a lot and gave rise to several minor workshop sand storms. One of the rear compartments locks had failed completely so this was replaced. Extra seals have been installed wherever possible.

The truck parked next to Baloo in the Unicat workshop is “Hungry Wheels“.

The water at Insouane was drawn from a well. This is common practise in Morocco. Some of the well water is beautifully clear and fresh. Unfortunately, the Insouane water was not only slightly saline but also very high in dissolved solids. All our pans and the kettle became thickly coated in carbonate deposits. This is easy enough to deal with but I was concerned that our hot water tank could become clogged. Several internet searches and some calculations later saw me pouring a citric acid solution into the tank. After heating, we drained this out along with loads of brown sludge. Eventually it ran clear. Hopefully this has helped preserve the tank a little longer.

The under ride guard is a continual problem. It is a horizontal bar at the rear of the truck designed to stop a car accidentally going underneath. We can fold it away when we go off-road but even so, it is quite easy to catch. Previously we have damaged it. This time we brought it back in pieces.  The guard is a requirement for TUV so we need to have one. The Unicat workshop did a magnificent job of hammering, grinding and welding. Finally, a coat of paint and it looks like new. Ready to save the next car that runs into the back of us. Unicat also designed some nifty removable mud flaps (spray suppressors). When we go off-road we will be able to take them off rather than rip them off as has tended to happen so far.

In April, while we were locked down in Morocco, I described our concern about the state of the tyres. They made it back to Germany but were looking seriously knackered. We now have six nice new ones and have switched from Michelin to Continental. The new tyres are a bit harder and have a slightly less aggressive tread pattern. They will not clear mud so well but might be better behaved on the road and longer lasting. The best two old tyres are now our spares. The motorcycle rack has been extended so that we can carry two wheels. In Feb, way out in the desert, we realised that two spare tyres were essential for travel in to remote places. The motorcycle is now secured in a different and hopefully much better way. This avoids having a clamp onto the saddle and compressing the suspension right down. It also allows the bike to fit more snugly to the tyres. Overall the bike rack is just 200mm longer. At the other end of the truck we have installed dual shock absorbers to make the vehicle a bit more stable off-road.

Other jobs included a second mast on the cab roof. This gives us more altitude for the WiFi bridging antenna. A solar powered extractor fan has been installed in the bathroom. In the cab is a new mount for an iPad dedicated to navigation. In addition, we replaced the drawers behind the driver’s seat with a set that do not rattle. The noise of the old draw unit upset the dog. For further canine comfort, we have installed a high anchor point for his harness with a rotating joint to reduce tangling problems. We thought about fitting an external awning but eventually opted for a gazebo as being much more flexible. In the bedroom, we have installed curtains. This may seems like an obvious one but many similar vehicles do not have them. The window has an internal blind and a fly shield. If the window is open then the blind has to be at least partially open to allow fresh air to circulate. This also lets the light in so when the bright desert sun comes up at 5am it shines right in your face. Curtains keep the bedroom dark and make it feel cosier. We are very happy with them.

Baloo is fully serviced TUV is passed. We are just about ready to go.

Thuringia

Not long after we arrived back at the Unicat workshop, the incomparable Lars and Inge turned up from Denmark. They have bought a 45-year-old Volvo C303 and wanted to try it out for camping. This is a magnificent 4×4 ex-military vehicle. Enormously capable off-road and with a bit more space than a Land Rover to live in.

We met them near Rothenberg and spent the next day exploring the ancient walled city. Interesting place with some lovely old buildings. Very quiet because of the Covid but that actually quite suited us. We are not very happy in crowds.

From there we went on a bit of a tour of Thuringia. Rolling hills and colourful autumnal forests. Autumnal weather as well – mostly cold and damp. We found some lovely areas to drive in. Walked in the woods and explored an old castle.

A week later, Lars and Inge had to get back home. Diane and I continued pottering for another week and then headed back to the Unicat workshop. Hopefully, by now, some of the stuff on order for Baloo has arrived.

Arbentuer and Allrad

During the summer, we popped back to the UK to sort out a few things. However, before that, we took Baloo to the Arbentuer and Allrad Exhibition at Bad Kissingen. This is an annual show of expedition vehicles and equipment. A lot of exhibitors and visitors arrive to take over the town for one week a year. It is billed as the “World´s largest cross-country-expo” and it really is quite an event. Unicat are there every year and we were delighted to be invited to park Baloo on their stand. In preparation for the show we gave Baloo a good clean and some new livery.

We really enjoyed the show. I particularly liked wandering around looking at the massive range of vehicles and equipment on display. We also had quite a few visitors and people we showed around Baloo. This was a bit strange. Baloo is a terrific vehicle but it is also our home so it felt a bit odd having strangers looking around inside. Fortunately, Diane was much better at this than me so I tended to let her get on with it. That said, we met some great people and had some fascinating chats. Elsewhere at the show there were some really interesting travellers and great stories.

By the end of four days we were completely ready to get back on the road again. This didn’t happen. Baloo went back to Unicat for some minor improvements and changes. We went back to the UK to visit friends and family, sort things out and deal with some of the mundane stuff of everyday life.

Now. At the end of September, we are properly back on the road again and currently trekking across France.

Industrial Camping #2

We turned our back on the Alps and headed to the Unicat workshop. Time for some adjustments and upgrades before setting off in a different direction.

Garmisch

We headed into Austria, again, following reports of lots of snow. We got completely stuck because of weight restrictions, again. In fact there were extra restrictions in place because of the snow. After a couple of days we did manage to reach one ski resort but were told quite firmly that we could not camp there. So we left Austria disappointed, again, and headed for Germany, again.

Garmisch is really the only serious ski area in Germany but it is lovely. There was fresh snow, good runs, good views and good restaurants.

Industrial camping

Industrial Camping is the term used by Unicat owners to describe camping at the Unicat factory. We did several weeks of Industrial Camping as part of the process of moving into our new home. Packing was a big part of this. Packing everything into lockers, drawers and cupboards. Clothes, tools, equipment, food, supplies. Everything apparently needed packing at least four times, unpacking, rearranging and packing again. Eventually things started to fit into place but it was all remarkably time-consuming and difficult. The essential question of what to take, when examined in detail, is almost impossibly hard to answer. We spent an awful lot of time packing things, thinking carefully about it, changing our mind and then unpacking them again. Ultimately some order emerged. We were pleased with some of the packing and when boredom set in we stuffed everything else into boxes marked ‘misc’.

Many lists. And to rule them all a master list – the list of lists
Fetching essential supplies. Here are some of the other vehicles and more Industrial Camping.